Additional Coverage:
- My mother and grandmother have no savings, and I’m bitter that I’ll need to support them as they age (businessinsider.com)
At 36, I find myself in the unexpected role of family breadwinner, supporting not only my own small family but also my mother and potentially my grandmother.
My mother moved in with us almost three years ago at age 55, struggling with debt. While some of her financial challenges stem from the economic realities of being a single, underpaid woman, poor financial management also plays a significant role.
Unfortunately, this pattern seems to repeat itself. My 76-year-old grandmother is still working out of necessity.
The thought of her losing Social Security is a constant worry. The possibility of having to cover their expenses fills me with dread and frustration.
I feel immense pressure to secure high-paying work, not just for myself, but to potentially mitigate their financial instability.
My relationship with my mother has shifted from daughter-parent to financial advisor. I regularly encourage her to seek better-paying employment, reduce spending, and set savings goals. It’s a role I’ve taken on out of self-preservation, knowing that if she doesn’t succeed, the financial burden will likely fall on me.
My relationship with my grandmother is even more complicated. We are estranged, communicating only sporadically.
Despite this, I know I won’t be able to stand by if she faces hardship. This sense of obligation isn’t a source of pride, but rather a bitter reminder of the situation I’m in.
While I’m frustrated with their financial struggles, I’m equally troubled by the systemic issues that contributed to their circumstances. Both my grandmother and mother were young, single mothers with limited education and, most importantly, a lack of financial literacy. I recognize that without my spouse’s guidance in financial matters, I could easily have found myself in a similar predicament.
I don’t seek accolades for supporting my family. My hope is for a society where women aren’t forced to rely on their children for survival. I’m striving to break this cycle, but I sometimes feel like I’m merely patching holes in a sinking ship, desperately hoping my own daughter never faces the same burdens.