Additional Coverage:
- My sister and I are identical twins. We did everything together until college, when we set out to find our own identities. (businessinsider.com)
Growing up as an identical twin definitely shaped my identity. In our small Iowa town, everyone struggled to tell my sister, Rebekah, and me apart.
From birth, we were a package deal. The story goes that after I was born, the doctor surprised my parents with a second baby – Rebekah!
Dad nearly fainted.
Being twins in a small town meant constant confusion. People knew a twin lived there, but not which one.
Our parents even dressed us alike, reinforcing our twindom. We were inseparable, except for school, where we were placed in different classes.
Even then, we spent every recess and lunch together. Being apart felt like losing a limb.
Being a twin was my defining characteristic. People constantly asked about twin telepathy and whether we felt each other’s pain.
While I enjoyed the attention, no one seemed interested in who I was without Rebekah. We were seen as a unit, not individuals.
By high school, the mistaken identity situations, like boys asking the wrong twin to homecoming, stopped being funny. Secretly, I wondered what it was like to be just one person.
Having a twin also meant constant comparison. Rebekah’s accomplishments felt like my failures.
High school became a subtle competition, even though a simple look from my sister could still sting. We shared interests, but our paths began to diverge.
I baked and scrapbooked; she wrote and played soccer. The biggest difference?
Rebekah had post-graduation plans. She was college-bound with a focus on English.
I could have followed suit, but I yearned for independence.
For the first time, Rebekah and I separated. We kept in touch, but we were both discovering our individual identities.
Navigating life solo was challenging, but liberating. A year later, I found myself at a small college across the country, where I met my husband.
His best friend? A triplet!
He understood the nuances of multiple births and, for the first time, being a twin wasn’t a big deal. He saw me.
My 10-year-old self wouldn’t believe that Rebekah and I don’t live next door to each other. But I think she’d ultimately be proud of the independent life I’ve built.