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- I bought my nearly 3-year-old a daddy doll to help her cope when her father is deployed. I sometimes sneak a hug from it, too, when I’m feeling low. (businessinsider.com)
Daddy Dolls and Deployments: One Military Family’s Coping Strategies
Lauren Gumpert wasn’t prepared for the impact her husband’s deployment would have on their daughters, ages almost 3 and 14 months. With her husband frequently away for training and deployments, Gumpert has had to find creative ways to help her eldest daughter cope with his absence.
A key strategy? A “daddy doll,” or as her toddler calls it, the “dada pillow.”
While Gumpert’s husband initially cringed at the idea, the doll has become a comforting presence in their home. It joins the family for meals, playtime, and bedtime snuggles, serving as a tangible reminder of her husband’s role in their lives.
“It doesn’t solve all of our problems, but the daddy doll has definitely taken some of the sting out of my husband’s absence,” Gumpert shares. “It’s a way for my kids to include him in our day-to-day activities, making him feel closer to us.”
Other tools in their coping arsenal include a personalized Toniebox with recordings of Gumpert’s husband singing and reading, and videos of him that the family cherishes. They also read deployment-themed picture books and use a visual calendar to mark the days until his return.
Gumpert has also learned some valuable lessons along the way. She’s discovered the importance of choosing her battles, recognizing that her daughter’s increased tantrums often stem from a need for control in an unpredictable situation.
She’s also learned to expect setbacks, like their temporarily derailed potty-training efforts, and to prioritize consistency in their daily routines. Maintaining familiar rituals, even small ones like letting her daughter help feed the dog, provides a sense of stability.
Finally, Gumpert emphasizes the importance of extra cuddles and one-on-one time, even amidst the demands of caring for two young children. These moments of connection help regulate her daughter’s emotions and strengthen their bond.
For Gumpert, navigating deployments with young children has been a challenging but rewarding experience. She offers this advice to other military families: “Have more patience and compassion for yourself and your kids.
We’re all going through this together, and we’re all doing our best.” Even on the toughest days, Gumpert finds comfort in a simple hug from the dada pillow, a reminder of the love and resilience that binds their family together.