Additional Coverage:
- I’ve been in an arranged marriage for 18 years. Our relationship works because we see the world differently. (businessinsider.com)
Opposites Attract, and Last: How an Arranged Marriage Taught Me the Power of Difference
When I agreed to an arranged marriage at 23, I hardly knew my husband-to-be, an older Gen Xer. As a driven millennial on the cusp of Gen Z, I was all about ambition and planning.
He valued stability and contentment. I’m expressive and quick to question; he’s quieter and more reserved.
Eighteen years, three kids, and countless arguments later, I’ve learned our differences, once a source of frustration, are the bedrock of our strength.
He’s the calm amidst my storm. He gently reminds me that not everything is a race and that missing a milestone isn’t a crisis. He never dims my ambition, just helps me appreciate a slower pace.
We express love differently. I’m loud, he’s quiet.
I used to mistake his reserve for detachment until he explained that his emotional processing is simply different. It was a pivotal moment.
I stopped expecting him to mirror me and began appreciating his steady, consistent expressions of love.
We still argue, about parenting, priorities, everything. But we’ve learned to disagree respectfully, giving each other space and choosing our battles. We move on.
Our love isn’t a constant flame, it flickers and flares. We keep it lit through daily commitment.
I ground him; he calms me. I handle the emotional load, logistics, and little extras like football practice and pizza nights.
He manages household bills, school fees, and ensures things run smoothly at home. We complement each other.
Our children are watching us navigate this dance of differences, learning that love and respect can thrive amidst differing opinions. I hope they carry this lesson into their own relationships, understanding that different perspectives are not a barrier to love, but a source of strength.
We are puzzle pieces, distinct yet perfectly interlocking. We fill each other’s gaps, creating a whole. Our marriage isn’t perfect harmony, but a shared, sometimes clumsy, sometimes graceful rhythm, grounded in trust, respect, and a quiet commitment to stay together.