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- I vowed not to be lonely when I moved to a small town and got better at making friends. At 40, I haven’t stopped growing my circle. (businessinsider.com)
Forty, Friendly, and Flourishing
At 40, I’ve built a wonderful network of friends, ranging from their early 30s to their late 90s, and I’m always open to new connections. Meeting new people, hearing their stories, and learning from their experiences truly excites me. Perhaps it’s the journalist in me, but I’m fascinated by the lives of others.
My approach to friendship wasn’t always so proactive. In high school, I was more of a loner, and while I had a close-knit group of friends in college, I wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. Living and working abroad in my 20s helped me gain confidence in meeting new people from all walks of life.
The real shift, however, came when I moved from Melbourne to a small town in rural Victoria, Australia. Determined not to feel isolated in a community of less than 3,000, I made a conscious effort to connect with others.
I started inviting people for coffee or hikes, even if we didn’t seem to have much in common. Overcoming my initial shyness, I was surprised by how often people said yes.
I even became bold enough to tell a woman I’d just met, “I really like you. Let’s be friends.”
She laughed, and a friendship blossomed.
Now, most of my friends are other parents from my children’s school and daycare. But I also have friends outside of that circle, including single and child-free friends in different life stages.
As my circle expands, I also prioritize maintaining my long-time friendships, some of which span years and miles. Regular phone calls keep us connected, and it’s as if no time has passed between conversations.
Authenticity, I’ve found, is key to forming genuine bonds. Earlier this year, I hosted a “Dessert with a side of woo-woo” ladies’ night.
We drew conversation starter cards ranging from lighthearted to deeply personal, sharing laughter and tears. We even created dream boards, visualizing our goals for the year.
The event resonated deeply with many of the women, highlighting a desire for deeper connections beyond superficial small talk.
Making friends can be daunting, but if my experience is anything to go by, taking a chance and simply inviting someone for a coffee can lead to wonderful surprises.