Additional Coverage:
- Putting on my wedding ring made me look like an adult. Taking it off 12 years later made me finally feel like one. (businessinsider.com)
A Gold Ring and Growing Up: One Woman’s Journey to Adulthood
From a young age, Carole-Ann Penney always looked younger than her years. While this might seem like a blessing to some, it became a source of frustration during her early career.
As a driven professional, she craved respect and credibility, but felt her youthful appearance held her back. She recalls a particularly stinging moment at a professional conference when a male colleague questioned whether she was even old enough to drink.
The underlying message was clear: she wasn’t being taken seriously.
When she got married at 27, her wedding ring became a symbol of adulthood, a visible marker that finally gave her the gravitas she desired. She embraced the weight of the ring and the sense of legitimacy it provided.
But even as she ticked off traditional milestones – buying a house, raising children, building a successful career – the feeling of true adulthood eluded her. Despite “adulting” on a daily basis, she still felt like a kid playing a grown-up role.
Years later, Penney found herself facing a crossroads in her marriage. She and her husband realized they were on diverging paths, ultimately leading to the decision to divorce.
Removing her wedding ring wasn’t a dramatic event, but a quiet Tuesday moment. In the weeks that followed, she noticed the fading indent on her finger and the newfound lightness of her hand.
At another professional conference, she observed the rings of other women, their sparkle accentuating their gestures, but felt no longing for her own. It was a revelation: she no longer needed the external validation of a ring.
Taking off her wedding ring, Penney realized, was the true marker of her adulthood. Getting married had been following a societal script, a prescribed path toward expected success.
Ending her marriage, however, was a conscious choice, a step away from that script and toward her own authentic path. Now, her credibility comes not from a ring, but from her accomplishments, her experience, her values, and the confidence that comes with forging her own way.
Today, Penney wears a simple gold ring on her right hand, a symbol of her personal growth. Engraved with a blooming camellia, it represents her blossoming into the woman she was meant to be, a late bloomer finally coming into her own. It’s a reminder that true adulthood isn’t defined by external markers, but by the internal journey of self-discovery and acceptance.