Additional Coverage:
- My kids stopped being appreciative of gifts. Now I make them write thank-you notes before they can use them. (businessinsider.com)
From Scribbles to Gratitude: A Mom’s Mission to Teach Appreciation
My 10-year-old son, fresh from the sugar rush of his birthday party, eagerly tore into his gifts. While he explored his new treasures, I diligently noted who gave what – a familiar ritual in our house.
Later, with a little nudge, he sat down with construction paper and crayons to pen thank-you notes. He chatted about the party highlights as he scribbled, the task now a routine part of his post-birthday celebration.
But it wasn’t always this easy.
Growing up, expressing gratitude was non-negotiable in my family. Thank-you notes were mandatory, a lesson instilled from childhood.
My parents led by example, thanking everyone from playdate hosts to restaurant servers. As soon as I could write, I signed my name to notes my mom carefully crafted, eventually learning to personalize them myself.
This practice stuck with me, and I naturally wanted to pass it on to my children.
When my kids were toddlers, thank-you notes started as colorful scribbles presented to gift-givers. These heartfelt gestures were met with warm smiles.
As they learned to write, short but sweet thank-you’s became the norm – initially offered without resistance. However, as they grew, the task became a chore.
They pointed out that few of their friends wrote thank-you notes and complained about the tediousness. My arguments about reciprocating kindness initially worked, but the resistance eventually returned.
Juggling four kids, work, and life in general, I admit, thank-you notes sometimes slipped through the cracks. By the time my youngest turned three, they’d disappeared altogether. A pang of guilt accompanied every unwrapped gift, but I felt too overwhelmed to address it.
Then came the entitlement. My children started expecting gifts, occasionally complaining if they weren’t up to par.
Their lack of gratitude was a wake-up call. Thank-you notes had to return, serving as a reminder of their good fortune and an exercise in appreciation.
Predictably, my kids protested, declaring thank-you notes a waste of time. But when I linked gift usage to note writing, they quickly complied. Soon enough, thank-you notes became second nature again.
While I sometimes wish their notes were more elaborate, even a simple “thank you” has made a difference. Taking a moment to acknowledge someone’s generosity fosters gratitude.
Now, I even overhear spontaneous thank you’s for family vacations and fun outings. My hope is that this appreciation continues, even when I’m not around to prompt it.