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- I moved from New York City to Texas for my husband. Now, we’re divorced, and I’m full of regret and far from home. (businessinsider.com)
Houstonian Reflects on Cross-Country Move and Subsequent Divorce
Isobella Jade never pictured herself living anywhere but New York City. It was the backdrop of her family history, education, marriage, and the birth of her two children. So, when her husband proposed a move to his hometown of Houston after just four years of marriage, she was understandably shocked.
As the primary earner, her husband’s decision carried significant weight. Despite a deep sense of unease, Jade agreed to what she was told would be a temporary relocation.
Within two months, the family had packed their belongings and traded the bustling streets of New York for the Texas metropolis. Three years later, Jade found herself navigating a divorce in unfamiliar territory.
With the benefit of hindsight, Jade reflects on the crucial conversations she wishes she had initiated before the move. While she acknowledges that these discussions might not have prevented the divorce, she believes they could have mitigated the pain and regret she still carries five years later.
One key area of regret centers on a lack of open communication about long-term goals. Jade now realizes she should have asked her ex-husband about his vision for their future.
Fearing conflict, she avoided the topic, a silence she now recognizes as detrimental. The divorce proceedings ultimately revealed her ex-husband’s desire to remain in Houston, close to his family and friends.
As the divorce was filed in Texas, Jade felt trapped, further exacerbating her homesickness and isolation as she struggled to establish a new life as a single mother in an unfamiliar city.
Jade also regrets not revisiting their prenuptial agreement before the move. Signed days before their wedding and before having children, the agreement offered minimal financial protection.
It waived spousal support and excluded any assets acquired during the marriage, leaving Jade with limited resources after the divorce. She acknowledges her reluctance to address the prenup, fearing it might jeopardize the marriage.
However, she now wishes she had advocated for her financial well-being, particularly given her role as a stay-at-home mother.
Finally, Jade wishes she had taken a more proactive role in their housing situation. She regrets not insisting on purchasing a property, even a modest one, in both their names.
This, she believes, would have provided a sense of security or, at the very least, offered valuable insight into her ex-husband’s consideration for her well-being. Instead, the family rented, and after the divorce, Jade was left to secure her own housing once again.
Despite the challenges, Jade is determined to focus on creating positive memories with her children in Houston, where they will remain until they graduate high school. Though the distance from her beloved New York City remains a source of sadness, she is committed to building a fulfilling life for herself and her family in their adopted city.