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- As an upper-income dad, I spend most of my expendable income on my kids’ activities. I fear I’m giving them an unfair advantage. (businessinsider.com)
Local Dad Grapples with Privilege in Parenting
A Fishtown father is navigating the complex world of raising kids in a society where money can buy advantages. He worries about the ethical implications of spending his disposable income on a plethora of after-school activities for his children, acknowledging the inherent unfairness for families with fewer resources.
The author, who lives with his wife and children in Fishtown, describes the constant barrage of choices parents face, from pricey infant swim lessons to sleep coaches and early SAT prep. He admits feeling the pressure to keep up, despite efforts to make budget-conscious decisions like choosing a local daycare and buying secondhand clothes and toys. While he and his wife did splurge on a sleep coach and contribute regularly to 529 plans, they ultimately decided against the expensive infant swim classes, opting for more affordable lessons at the local YMCA.
He points to the “meritocracy trap,” where parents feel compelled to buy their children every possible advantage, exacerbating existing inequalities. He cites research showing that upper-income families spend significantly more on extracurricular activities than lower-income families, widening the opportunity gap before kindergarten. He also expresses concern that focusing solely on these activities limits his children’s interactions to other kids from similar privileged backgrounds.
To counter this, the family is focusing on three key principles: prioritizing interactions with children from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds, choosing local activities to maximize family time, and emphasizing their children’s happiness over relentless skill development. He hopes this approach will not only benefit his children but also contribute to a more equitable community.