Additional Coverage:
- I was raised to believe women could have it all. I stayed home to raise my kids and had to go back to work at 49 to get out of debt. (businessinsider.com)
A Stay-at-Home Mom’s Story: Having It All and Losing Almost Everything
Raised in the ’70s and ’80s, the message was clear: women could balance a thriving career and family. Even my progressive college reinforced this idea.
Yet, when I became a mother, I chose to stay home, a path familiar to many women of that era. At 28, the decision felt right.
My husband’s career in the gaming industry was taking off, and money, while not closely tracked, seemed plentiful. We bought a modest home, and I dove headfirst into motherhood.
My days were filled with school runs, doctor’s appointments, and PTA meetings. A full-time job felt impossible.
My optimistic husband painted a rosy financial future, and I trusted his vision. I embraced motherhood completely, baking cookies, volunteering, and cherishing every milestone.
Those precious moments with my children are priceless, experiences I might have missed in a traditional job. However, this full-time devotion came at a cost.
My husband’s optimism eventually became a source of tension as our financial stability crumbled. His income became unreliable, and a growing rift formed between us.
Quietly, I opened a separate bank account and ramped up my freelance writing to keep us afloat. The situation grew so dire that I eventually sold my mother’s heirloom silverware, a treasured possession, to make ends meet.
The small sum I received barely made a dent in our mounting bills.
Five years ago, I returned to the workforce full-time. The job became a lifeline, offering financial stability and unexpected fulfillment.
My husband, now 67, works as a handyman, and we are slowly chipping away at our debt. The financial strain continues to put a significant strain on our marriage, even as we approach our 30th anniversary.
While I don’t regret the time spent with my children, I do regret the naive assumption that everything would fall into place financially. This experience has taught me a crucial lesson: even in the most idyllic scenarios, it’s essential to build your own safety net.