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- When my 20-year marriage ended, I had no job and knew little about money. Now, I’m confident in my financial future and career. (businessinsider.com)
Local Woman Finds Empowerment and Financial Independence After Divorce
[City, State] – At 49 years old, Lisa VanderVeen faced a daunting new reality when her 20-year marriage came to an end. After years as a stay-at-home mother, she suddenly found herself navigating a world of financial accounts, investments, and major purchases that her husband had always managed. Her journey from financial uncertainty to confident independence offers a powerful message of resilience and self-discovery.
VanderVeen vividly recalls the initial shock. “I was 49 years old when I bought my first car,” she shared, noting that for two decades, such tasks were handled by her spouse, who oversaw insurance, investments, and significant acquisitions like phones and vehicles. The true extent of her detachment from their finances became starkly clear when her lawyer presented a worksheet requesting a budget and an accounting of assets.
“I stared at it, frozen,” she recounted, realizing she knew little beyond writing checks from their household account. The origins of their monthly funds and the location and number of their other accounts were mysteries.
Even her own 401(k), from a career she’d stepped away from years prior, was untraceable, let alone her ex-husband’s. The realization hit hard: “We were no longer a ‘we.’
If I wanted to protect myself and my future, I had to figure it out alone.”
The road to financial literacy began with a friend’s unwavering support. Together, they delved into a metal file cabinet, unearthing credit-card bills, insurance policies, and bank statements. A Saturday morning was spent meticulously photocopying documents, a process VanderVeen admits was overwhelming and scary, made bearable only by her friend’s steady presence.
Her attempt to connect with their former financial advisor proved fruitless; she was informed she was no longer a client. However, a lifeline came through her father, who introduced her to his own financial planner. This new advisor provided not just guidance but a sense of security, helping VanderVeen construct a budget and understand her new financial landscape.
Beyond managing money, VanderVeen recognized the urgent need for a steady income and health insurance. After being “in and out of the workforce” since her daughter’s birth 15 years earlier, she sought re-employment.
A connection from a former colleague led to a job opportunity she describes as “a gift from the Universe.” Seven years later, that position has become “an anchor, steady beneath my feet,” providing not only a livelihood but also a renewed sense of professional pride she felt she’d lost in her roles as wife and mother.
Reflecting on her journey, VanderVeen expresses a wish that she had been more involved in her marital household’s financial decisions. Yet, she takes immense pride in how far she has come.
The “big decisions” she once deferred to her spouse are now ones she confidently makes herself. She has learned to purchase phones, computers, appliances, and cars.
She’s overseen a flooded basement remodel, managed tree removals, navigated chimney repairs, and filed her own taxes.
Her retirement, though different from what she once envisioned, will be entirely on her terms. “I can live how I desire, travel where I like (within my budget), and unapologetically pursue my dreams and hobbies,” she affirms.
VanderVeen’s message to her past, terrified self, and to others facing similar challenges, is one of hope and inner strength: “She would be OK — that she’s stronger than she feels and smarter than she knows. I’d tell her to march ferociously toward that light at the end of the tunnel because a new life awaits.” Her story stands as a testament to the power of personal perseverance and the journey toward self-empowerment.