Additional Coverage:
- I’m a working dad with a health condition. I can’t do everything my wife does, but here’s how we manage the parenting load. (businessinsider.com)
Chatsworth Dad Navigates Parenthood and Neuropathy with Resilience and Family Support
CHATSWORTH, CA – For Wesley Graft, director of student services at a local middle and high school, the arrival of his daughter Emma a year ago brought immense joy, but also a new, unexpected challenge: a diagnosis of peripheral neuropathy. This nerve damage condition, which causes pain, muscle weakness, and balance issues, has transformed the landscape of daily life for Graft, 37, and his wife, Kim, a preschool teacher. Yet, through careful coordination, unwavering team effort, and a robust family support system, the couple is navigating these hurdles with remarkable resilience.
Graft recalls the unsettling sensation in the weeks before Emma’s birth, describing it as a “boa constrictor wrapped around my legs.” The diagnosis of peripheral neuropathy confirmed nerve damage affecting his limbs, hands, and feet.
For him, this manifests as pain and discomfort in his quads and an almost complete loss of feeling in his feet. The symptoms escalated after Emma’s arrival, raising concerns about his ability to safely hold and care for his newborn due to muscle weakness and balance issues.
“My diagnosis is still evolving,” Graft explains, “but my wife and my now 1-year-old daughter have helped me through this whole process.”
Both Wesley and Kim work full-time in education, a field not always known for its high salaries, making financial planning crucial. Graft’s job, primarily desk-based, has seen him start using a cane at work due to his condition. He makes an effort to move frequently, as doctors advise that stagnation can worsen his pain.
The cost of raising a child, coupled with mounting medical expenses, has added significant pressure. The couple pays $365 a week for family daycare – a necessity as both need to work to manage their bills. Graft recounts racking up thousands in medical expenses from multiple MRIs, even with insurance assistance.
Living with peripheral neuropathy means constant vigilance. Graft must carry Emma on his shoulder to keep a hand free for support, a precaution taken to prevent falls.
Simple tasks like walking to another room or turning off a light require intense focus on each step. Navigating the stairs of their second-floor condo is often left to Kim, as Graft cannot easily carry Emma or her car seat while needing to hold a railing.
“I can’t mirror everything my wife does,” Graft admits. “My knee once gave out while trying to get up the stairs with a heavy load of groceries.”
When Emma was a newborn, Graft spent an extra month at home using vacation and sick time. While eager to bond with his daughter, he was initially apprehensive about caring for her alone.
“I rarely left the house besides taking out the trash or getting the mail, just to be safe,” he says. “It was scary initially, but it worked out well.”
Despite the challenges, the couple emphasizes their shared commitment to parenting. Graft actively works to ensure Kim doesn’t bear the full responsibility, striving to redefine traditional “masculine tasks” to fit his capabilities.
The most significant aid, according to Graft, has been their “village of support.” His parents and local siblings, including a brother with a son close to Emma’s age, frequently lend a hand. They often swap childcare duties, allowing both couples much-needed time away from parenting responsibilities.
As Graft’s condition slowly develops, so too does Emma. Now standing, starting to walk, and even saying a few words, her growth has made caring for her a bit easier.
“Her smiling face makes it all worth it,” Graft beams. “She’s a wonderful kid, and we may be biased because we’re her parents, but she’s perfect in every way.”
The Graft family’s story is one of unwavering dedication, adaptability, and the profound strength found in familial bonds, proving that even with unexpected turns, life’s most precious moments can still shine brightly.