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- I hosted my own ‘living funeral.’ Doctors don’t think I’ll make it to the holidays and I wanted to see all my loved ones again. (businessinsider.com)
New Orleans Mother Hosts “Celebration of Life” to Find Closure Amidst Terminal Illness
New Orleans, LA – Faced with a rare and aggressive form of cervical cancer, 38-year-old April Fenk, a single mother of three, recently hosted a deeply personal “celebration of life” – often referred to as a living funeral – to gather her loved ones and find peace amidst her challenging prognosis. Doctors have indicated Fenk may not live to see the upcoming holiday season.
Fenk, who was diagnosed with cervical cancer in June 2024 at age 36, explained that the event offered a profound sense of “closure” as she shared an evening filled with love and laughter with her closest family and friends.
“I hadn’t gotten married in a fancy white dress. And I’d missed my high school prom,” Fenk shared, describing her desire to make a statement at what she called “the most important party of my life.” She chose a glamorous silver gown for the occasion, determined to look her best.
The journey to this poignant celebration began with Fenk’s diagnosis, which followed an abnormal PAP test she had initially postponed due to her hectic life as a busy single mother working long hours. After experiencing a sudden bleeding incident, she sought medical attention, leading to the devastating news of aggressive cervical cancer with an initial prognosis of 12 to 18 months.
Fenk, mother to Ethan (15), Eli (11), and Ezra (6), underwent nine months of chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and radiation. The rigorous treatment took a heavy toll, leaving her weak and causing significant weight loss. She and her sons moved in with her parents for support, and Fenk worked to explain her illness to her young boys, reading books about sickness and bereavement.
Despite a period of improvement, Fenk’s health declined this past June when the cancer spread to her kidney, leading to a revised prognosis of approximately four and a half months to live. This news prompted her to plan the unique gathering.
Fenk recalled a casual conversation from her mid-20s where she expressed a dislike for traditional funerals, preferring a large party if ever faced with a terminal illness. That distant thought became her reality.
“I wanted people to remember me as I was,” she stated, explaining her desire to host the event while she was still lucid and strong enough to connect with her loved ones. She aimed for the celebration to be “one of my last memories.”
Held on a Saturday evening, the intimate gathering included 40 close family members and friends. Fenk specifically wanted her sons to be present in a room full of loving individuals who could reassure them they wouldn’t be alone after she was gone. Guests were asked to prepare handwritten letters, creating an atmosphere where shared memories, laughter, and emotional tributes flowed freely.
Fenk dressed elegantly, and her hair and makeup were professionally done. Photography for the event was handled by Momento, a nonprofit dedicated to capturing meaningful images for terminally ill individuals and their families.
The evening featured heartfelt speeches, beginning with her older brother’s toast. Her eldest son, Ethan, surprised Fenk by reading a letter, expressing how amazing she was and how lucky he felt to have her as his mother. Friends shared stories, some humorous, about their long-standing bonds and adventures.
At the close of the evening, Fenk delivered her own powerful speech. “As I think about my death, and the life I have lived, I keep coming back to love,” she shared.
“The pleasure of having known love and given love is what really matters on this earth. I truly feel content, because I have felt love and I continue to feel love every moment of every day, thanks to all of you in this very room.”
The event was filled with tears, both of sorrow and joy, for Fenk and her guests. Reflecting two weeks later, Fenk expressed a profound sense of peace. “It brought me peace and a little bit of closure about what’s to come,” she concluded, cherishing the memory of a night dedicated to the love that has defined her life.