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- I got engaged at 33. I didn’t realize how amazing it was to be a single woman until I wasn’t anymore. (businessinsider.com)
Local Mother Reflects on Marriage, Motherhood, and the Value of Independent Time
For one local resident, getting engaged at 33 brought a mix of emotions, including a sense of being a “late bloomer,” despite having already purchased her home and raising a child from a previous relationship by age 28. Her journey as a single parent had established a strong foundation of independence, a period she now looks back on with nuanced reflection.
“I had established my independence as a single parent well before I found a partner,” she shared. “I had owned my own home for about five years, and I was in my third year of teaching. I worked hard to provide for my son and me, but I was basically in survival mode.”
The demands of single parenthood led her to yearn for a partner to share responsibilities, both financial and emotional. She fantasized about finding someone who would help with chores, split finances, and offer vital emotional support, hoping to ease the burden of handling everything on her own.
Upon meeting her now-husband through work, a connection that had developed over a couple of years, their relationship quickly became serious. Both were older and ready to embark on a shared life, leading her to feel that her previous plans as a single parent could now become more flexible.
Following their engagement, a significant change occurred: she sold her house, and she and her son moved into her husband’s home. While initially eager to shed the responsibilities of homeownership, she now reflects on what she believes she inadvertently gave up.
“It wasn’t just a physical space,” she explained. “It was a time when my son and I were a family of just the two of us. When we moved in with my husband, we became a family of three, forever changed.”
She expresses regret over not holding onto that specific period longer, cherishing the valuable one-on-one time with her son before remarriage. As her son grows older, she feels a sense of loss for those irreplaceable moments.
A surprising sentiment she now holds is a longing for the solitude she once experienced when her son was with his father. What felt like loneliness then, she now views as a cherished freedom-the ability to make choices without considering the preferences of a partner or child. She recalls leisurely runs and preparing simple meals for herself, activities that feel less attainable now within the dynamics of a family of three.
“I was so focused on finding a partner that I didn’t realize my life wasn’t lacking in anything,” she mused. “My son and I always had more than we needed, and best of all, we had each other.”
While she feels fortunate to have found love, she wishes she had more deeply appreciated her life as it was. She fondly remembers the dating period with her husband as having “the best of both worlds,” where they could share time while maintaining independent lives. She emphasizes that she doesn’t regret marrying him, but wishes she had prolonged their dating period and relished being the head of her own household for a little while longer.