Additional Coverage:
- My twins have done everything together since birth. Now that they’re older, I’m helping them recognize their individuality. (businessinsider.com)
Local Mom’s Twin Journey: From Inseparable Duo to Budding Individuals
A local mom is sharing her fascinating experience raising identical twin boys, a journey that has evolved from cherishing their unique bond to actively fostering their individual identities.
Neelma Faraz, whose twin sons are now 13, describes the “magical” arrival of her boys, especially in a family with no history of twins. From hitting milestones in sync to sharing unspoken jokes, their connection has been a source of constant amazement. “Their resemblance went beyond their looks; there was something deeply intertwined about the way they existed in the world,” Faraz recounts.
However, as the boys grew, Faraz and her husband realized they had inadvertently encouraged this sameness. Matching outfits, shared activities, and a general approach of “two of everything” made life easier, but also solidified their “one unit” dynamic.
A pivotal moment occurred when one son opted out of a birthday party because his brother was sick, despite having looked forward to it all week. Later, when considering future academic interests, their first instinct was to align their choices. “Their choices weren’t just about preference – they were about togetherness,” Faraz observed, realizing that their beautiful bond was beginning to overshadow their individual growth.
Determined to make space for individuality without weakening their connection, the family began making subtle shifts. Instead of identical outfits, Faraz started buying similar styles in different colors.
Conversations emphasized that different interests wouldn’t diminish their bond. This gentle encouragement paid off when the boys independently pursued different sports, one joining the football team and the other the basketball team.
Faraz acknowledges that supporting their individuality has meant more complex logistics, but emphasizes that it’s a learning process for parents too. She hopes her sons will grow up understanding that deep love doesn’t require mirroring another person, and that stepping outside a comfort zone is crucial for personal growth.
Ultimately, Faraz believes her sons can “have it all” – a profound connection while still embracing their unique selves. As they move towards new schools and experiences, she wants them to know they’ll never have to choose between their bond and their individuality.