Additional Coverage:
- When my mom died, sorting through her belongings was overwhelming. I won’t put that burden on my children. (businessinsider.com)
Local Woman Vows to Declutter After Facing Mom’s Post-Mortem Piles
[CITY, STATE] – The daunting task of sifting through a deceased loved one’s belongings is a burden many families face, and for one local woman, Linda Wolff, it was an experience that prompted a powerful personal vow. After years of trying to help her mother organize her home, only to be met with resistance, Wolff and her sister were left with an overwhelming amount of clutter to sort through after their mother’s passing. Now, Wolff is determined to spare her own children the same ordeal, actively decluttering her home with a newfound purpose.
“You’ll deal with it when I’m dead,” was her mother’s frequent retort whenever Wolff or her sister offered to assist with any mess, from kitchen cabinets to financial records. This stubbornness, while frustrating, was a battle Wolff found difficult to wage against her mother.
When her mother reached 85 and was recently widowed, Wolff and her sister stepped in to manage bills and medical needs. It was then they observed a painful decline in her once-sharp mind. Tasks like reading mail, paying bills, and maintaining her home became increasingly difficult, and mountains of papers began to accumulate on her kitchen table, a stark contrast to her once fastidious filing habits.
A Mother’s Clinging, a Daughter’s Resolve
Despite repeated pleas to help organize her belongings, Wolff’s mother would always defer, saying, “Not now.” A subsequent Alzheimer’s diagnosis after a fall shed light on her mother’s increasing vulnerability. As her control and dignity receded, familiar objects became anchors in her deteriorating world, to which she clung desperately.
Upon her death, Wolff and her sister were left to untangle the years of accumulation. They discovered closets overflowing with plastic bags containing old bubble wrap, yellowed paper plates, unopened birthday gifts, and hundreds of files.
Her pantry was a time capsule of forgotten items, jammed with cans of soup, peas, and pasta sauce dating back to her apartment move in 2012. The layers of dust and decade-old food were a poignant sight.
The home that Wolff remembered as spotless in her childhood was now bursting with junk, overshadowing the cherished heirlooms her mother had left behind.
A New Path: Swedish Death Cleaning
Wolff’s mother, despite her admirable qualities of humor and straightforwardness, had a habit of holding onto things well past their usefulness, a trait perhaps influenced by being married to two Depression-era husbands who instilled the importance of saving everything. Wolff, however, vowed not to repeat this pattern. Horrified by the prospect of her children facing a similar sorting task, she was unsure where to begin.
A friend’s recommendation of “The Essential Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” provided the clarity she needed. The book’s message about decluttering to ease the burden on loved ones resonated deeply with her.
Embracing the principles, Wolff began tackling her cabinets and drawers. Channeling the spirit of Marie Kondo, she evaluated each object, asking if it “sparked joy.”
If not, it was let go. Old clothes, mismatched dishes, and worn-out toys were bagged for donation or disposal.
The act of filling trash bags with items to give away or discard brought a sense of lightness to her home and a boost to her mood.
Wolff hopes that when her children eventually pack up her home, amidst their grief, they will encounter beauty and meaning: a Baccarat butterfly collection catching the light, vibrant decorative bowls and art, shelves filled with beloved books, and toys for her dog and granddaughter. Her legacy, she aims, will be a home filled with things she loved, mirroring the love she held for them.