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- My mother prepared for retirement, but a dementia diagnosis wiped out her savings. I had to scramble to figure out her care. (businessinsider.com)
Unexpected Dementia Diagnosis Throws Retirement Plans into Disarray, Daughter Shares Urgent Lessons in Eldercare Planning
A sudden turn of events forced one daughter to navigate the complex and often overwhelming world of eldercare, revealing critical gaps in her mother’s retirement planning and underscoring the vital need for proactive conversations about aging and finances.
For many, retirement planning conjures images of comfortable golden years, often in the familiar surroundings of one’s own home. This was the vision for Ala Landin’s mother, who had meticulously saved for retirement and owned her condo, envisioning a future of independent living. However, this ideal scenario didn’t account for the unforeseen challenges of aging, specifically a dementia diagnosis that would upend everything.
A few years into her retirement, Landin’s mother was struck by a sudden illness and hospitalization, followed by a life-altering dementia diagnosis. The swift progression from independent living to needing assisted living and then nursing care, all within a decade, was a reality she had never imagined – and certainly hadn’t planned for financially.
A Daughter Unprepared, Thrust into Action
The diagnosis caught Landin off guard, especially as her mother had appeared healthy. Living a couple of hours away with a toddler and a new baby, and with her mother being single with no other nearby family besides a brother with Down Syndrome, Landin found herself facing a “tangled mess of finances” and a home no longer safe for her mother to inhabit alone. “I felt like a deer in headlights, alone with no idea where to start,” she recounts, burdened by the caregiving responsibilities for both her young children and her aging, disabled family members.
In a scramble, Landin began the arduous process of researching assisted living facilities. Under immense stress and without prior knowledge of what to look for or what questions to ask, she quickly chose a facility she believed would meet her mother’s needs and fit her budget.
Rapid Depletion of Savings and Unforeseen Costs
The financial reality of assisted living proved far more expensive than initially quoted. To cover the costs, Landin’s uncle flew in to help clear out and sell her mother’s condo.
Despite these efforts, “there always seemed to be add-on expenses, and frequent increases to what were deemed necessary medical or support interventions.” A crucial oversight, Landin discovered, was not asking if the facility accepted Medicaid – a question that would become critically important as her mother’s savings rapidly dwindled.
The answer, she learned, was no.
Further complicating matters, the facility informed Landin that her mother would require a higher level of care, despite earlier assurances of end-of-life care within the same establishment. This necessitated another urgent search for a skilled nursing facility that could provide the necessary care and, crucially, accept Medicaid.
After a year on a waiting list, a place became available. Just months after the move, her mother’s funds were fully depleted, and she transitioned onto Medicaid.
The Urgent Call for Proactive Eldercare Planning
Landin’s experience serves as a stark reminder of the critical importance of proactive eldercare planning. She emphasizes the necessity of open conversations with loved ones about their wishes for aging, including potential needs for more expensive, higher-level care.
Key takeaways from her journey include the need to:
- Document preferred and alternative living care options.
- Establish robust financial plans.
- Designate a power of attorney.
- Clearly communicate health wishes.
“I’m thankful that my mom and my brother are both covered by Medicaid and cared for in quality facilities,” Landin states. However, she wishes her mother had been more transparent about her wishes, health, and financial situation sooner, to avoid “making decisions in crisis mode.”
While contemplating aging and mortality can be uncomfortable, Landin concludes, “avoiding these conversations while we are well means a greater burden on loved ones, and possibly a lower quality of life toward the end.” Her story stands as a powerful testament to the peace of mind and better outcomes that can result from thoughtful, early eldercare planning.