Additional Coverage:
- My daughters attended Harvard, Yale, and Stanford; they then became the CEOs of YouTube and 23andMe. Letting them fail helped them grow into leaders. (businessinsider.com)
The Secret to Raising Silicon Valley Stars? This Mom Says It’s All About Letting Kids Fail!
Palo Alto, CA – Ever wonder what it takes to raise three incredibly successful daughters, including a former YouTube CEO and a co-founder of 23andMe? Meet Esther Wojcicki, the parenting guru and educator who believes the key lies in a simple, yet profound, philosophy: let your kids fail, and then let them try again.
Wojcicki, whose daughters Susan Wojcicki (former CEO of YouTube), Anne Wojcicki (co-founder of 23andMe), and Janet Wojcicki (researcher at UCSF) boast impressive résumés, shared her unconventional approach, rooted in a childhood tragedy that instilled in her a lifelong commitment to independent thinking.
“When I was 10, my baby brother died after my mother was too afraid to question a doctor’s advice,” Wojcicki revealed. “I vowed then and there that I would never be afraid to ask questions, and that became the cornerstone of my parenting: empowering my daughters to be independent thinkers, unafraid of failure.”
Wojcicki’s mantra for her girls was simple: “Fail fast and revise.” This wasn’t just a catchy phrase; it was a way of life in their household.
“It didn’t matter if they didn’t get something right the first time,” she explained. “They could always do it again.”
This very principle, she notes, eventually became a guiding light for many Silicon Valley startups.
Her parenting philosophy, which she’s distilled into the “Parenting TRICK” app, is built on five pillars:
- Trust: Empowering children by trusting them with tasks, even simple ones like making dessert. This builds their self-confidence and sense of capability.
- Respect: A two-way street. Truly listening to children’s opinions, even if the final decision remains with the parent.
- Independence: Crucial for raising capable adults. Wojcicki advocates for letting kids do things for themselves from a young age.
- Collaboration: Working with children, rather than dictating to them. This fosters autonomy and a greater likelihood of adherence to rules, as she witnessed in her classrooms.
- Kindness: The enduring impact of how you make someone feel.
Wojcicki recounts her daughters, even as toddlers, taking charge of their own breakfasts, pulling out cereal and milk (kept in a small jug within their reach). While it often resulted in a mess, the joy and independence it fostered were priceless. As they grew, they made their own “awful-looking” sandwiches, rode bikes to swim practice alone, and organized their own playdates.
In a world increasingly driven by fear and over-parenting, Wojcicki acknowledges the challenges but emphasizes the critical need for children to have the space to make mistakes and develop self-reliance. “We live in a culture of fear,” she observed, contrasting it with her own parenting experiences. “But it’s still so important to give our kids independence and space to make mistakes.”
And the same goes for parents, she adds: “You can’t come up with a creative solution if you’re always worried about whether you’re doing it right.”
So, next time you see a spilled glass of milk or a lopsided sandwich, remember Esther Wojcicki’s advice: it might just be the first step on the path to raising a future titan of industry.