Step aside, Hollywood. Houston just pitched the perfect script for an 80s-style horror movie: “Drug-Raddicts.” The plot? Rodents high on evidence-room narcotics, staging a gritty crime spree one cocaine stash at a time. Except, folks, this isn’t a movie, this is real life.
Let’s break it down. Houston police announced that their evidence rooms—home to 1.2 million pieces of evidence, including a whopping 400,000 pounds of marijuana—have turned into an all-you-can-eat buffet for the city’s most tenacious trespassers: rats. But not just any rats. These are rats with problems.
According to officials, the rodent issue has gotten so bad that cases as old as the Macarena are being reevaluated. Imagine getting a letter that reads: “Dear Counsel, the cocaine from your client’s 1996 bust has been eaten by a rat. Good luck in court.”
These Rats Are Built Different
“These aren’t your average rodents,” said Peter Stout, president of the Houston Forensic Science Center. “They’re drug-addicted rats. They’re tough to deal with.” Yes, you read that right, these rats are not just tough; they’re basically tiny, furry mob bosses with a penchant for blow. Someone get them a Netflix docuseries and a therapy session…