Satire – Nebraska Moves Lincoln’s Birthday to June to Boost Tourism, Historians Baffled

In an unexpected turn of events, the state of Nebraska has officially declared that Abraham Lincoln’s birthday will no longer be celebrated on the traditional date of February 12th. Instead, in a bold move aimed at boosting state tourism, Nebraska lawmakers have passed legislation tying the celebration of Lincoln’s birthday to the geographic location of Lincoln, Nebraska, thereby declaring it a movable feast based on the city’s coordinates.

The newly passed “Lincoln Day Realignment Act” stipulates that Lincoln’s birthday will now be celebrated on the second Saturday of June, coinciding with the annual “Where’s Abe?” festival in downtown Lincoln. The festival, known for its Lincoln look-alike contests, stovepipe hat workshops, and the theatrical re-enactments of Lincoln’s lesser-known visit to Nebraska (a visit historians are still trying to find evidence of), is expected to draw crowds in the tens of thousands.

State officials have defended the decision, arguing that Abraham Lincoln, despite having no historical ties to the city that shares his name, would have appreciated the initiative’s creativity and potential for economic development. Critics, however, have labeled the move as historically disingenuous, arguing it could lead to widespread confusion among students and history buffs alike.

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