If you’ve ever clocked in anywhere in West Texas, you know the real magic doesn’t happen out on the floor; it actually happens in the breakroom. That sacred land of off-brand coffee, passive-aggressive fridge notes, and life advice from your coworker who’s been “here since before the remodel” but has also been divorced 8 times.
From oilfield stories to casserole debates, there are certain things you’ll only hear in a West Texas breakroom, and if you’ve heard ‘em, you’re officially one of us. (Sorry…)
12 Things You’ll Only Hear in a Lubbock Breakroom
1. “Did ya hear about that wreck on the loop?”
Every day. It doesn’t matter if there was one or not. Someone definitely heard about one.
2. “My leftovers got my name on’em. Don’t touch’em.”
Duh, dude. Nobody wants your old stained-ass spaghettie tupperware full of mystery Mexican food. If they do, they’re probably desperate. Let’em have it.
3. “Who made this dip? Lord have mercy.”
It’s usually just come kind of Rotel magic or something with ranch powder, but the Lord is somehow always bought directly into the convo.
4. “My friend said they are hiring over at the cheese factory again.”
This discussion usually ends with, “But don’t tell nobody I told ya.”
5. “If the wind would just quit, I might could get some work done today on the yard.”
The wind here is a problem. Have I mentioned that before?
6. “You seen the new sales kids? Bless his heart.”
Translation: he showed up in shorts and a shirt with a hole in it. Only way to get away with that is by bringing donuts and that certainly didn’t happen…
7. “We’re doin’ a potluck next week. Bring something good. None of the store-bought crud again, Monica.”
There’s always three crockpots of queso, some chips, and zero drinks. Try hard, guys.
8. “I thought I told you! If you kill the Joe, you make some mo’.”
Don’t start a war in the office. Make more coffee if you drink the last cup, you heathen.
9. “My cousin’s neighbor’s son knows the guy that hit that little jackpot with an Allsup’s scratcher!”
Well, by those calculations, Rhonda, it’s payday for us all, isn’t it…
10. “It’s hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.”
They aren’t wrong. Someone turnt he AC up.
West Texas breakrooms are where we vent, gossip, and feed each other like it’s a family reunion nearly every single day. Whether you’re microwaving your coworker’s old burrito or grabbing the last donut, you know these conversations feel like home — even if the coffee in the godforsaken place tastes like transmission fluid…