If you ever wake up thinking Maybe people are calmer now, just remember: someone, somewhere, is currently losing their entire mind over something that does not matter. At all. Zero percent. Not even a little bit. And if you live in West Texas, you’ve absolutely witnessed someone go nuclear over a rotisserie chicken or a haircut that was off by a millimeter.
We asked listeners, “What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve seen somebody get angry about?” and let me tell you, these stories did not disappoint. Karens are everywhere, y’all, and they are hellbent on ruining your day.
Like the groomer who had to explain, with the patience of a saint, that no amount of scissoring will turn a Pomeranian into a Yorkie. Or the hairstylist who gave a lady the exact Jennifer Aniston haircut she asked for… only for the woman to get mad that she didn’t suddenly look like Jennifer Aniston. (Ma’am, that upgrade costs extra and is performed by the Lord.)
People get mad over everything. One listener got scolded by a boomer for eating alone with headphones in — because apparently joining society is mandatory now. A 3-year-old raged because her mom put spaghetti sauce on her noodles immediately after she asked for spaghetti sauce on her noodles. A man in a bar got furious that someone didn’t believe in ghosts… and even more furious that he’d never “asked Jesus to send one.”
Retail workers? Oh, they’ve seen it all. For example, being yelled at for not knowing Santa’s reindeer roster, or being blamed because someone’s phone got shut off after they didn’t pay their bill… for a thousand dollars.
And of course, the college student who skipped six weeks of psychology because it “wasn’t important,” then went full banshee when her professor suggested inventing a time machine. Honestly, iconic.
The bottom line? Humans are gonna be human. Some folks wake up every day choosing violence over noodles, haircuts, ghosts, wind, or Dr Pepper opinions. The rest of us just sit back, sip our sweet tea, and enjoy the free entertainment…