UW to combat dorm shortage by sending excess students to homeless shelters

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University of Wisconsin-Madison Chancellor Jennifer Mnookin unveiled an unconventional plan to combat the current student housing shortage — sending excess students, mainly freshmen, to several of Madison’s vibrant and historic homeless shelters — at a press conference yesterday afternoon.

“While many of our greatest students are able to find housing at this hallowed institution’s many dormitories, or perhaps get a $4,500 apartment at The Hub, or Theory Madison, some of our less fortunate students have been complaining non-stop about not being able to find ‘affordable housing.’ Well, after our team sifted and winnowed through many ideas, like cutting our football budget since the team, and more importantly the coach, sucks, or having one less movie theater or even having to cut funding to our student government I know all 1.5% of you who voted in their last election care so much about, we landed on the homeless shelter plan.” Mnookin said at the press conference…

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