Since 2008, I’ve been on a one-man mission to track down South Florida’s greatest comfort food under the name Burger Beast. Sixteen years, countless bites, and way too many napkins later, I’m still chasing the next crispy, juicy, grease-stained thrill. Not for clout, not for selfies — just for the love of the food.
As a New Times contributor, I’m getting to do what I was put on this planet to do: crank out drool-worthy lists (check out New Times’ 11 Best Hot Dogs in Miami: Ranked). One thing about my lists is that I have single-handedly eaten my way through each spot, and when it comes to chicken tenders, it’s no different. Every place on this list was personally tasted by yours truly, including the joints that claim to make their own tendies. (Pro tip: don’t go by the menu — always ask your server if they’re freshly made. I want to think they won’t lie to your face. Then again, this is Miami.)
In order to nail down the top eight chicken tenders, I considered this: if it’s boneless, long-ish, and fried (or grilled, if they pulled it off), it counts. Yes, “tenders” technically means tenderloin, while “fingers” and “strips” are usually breast meat, but I’m not here to be a poultry snob. I’m here for crunch. Chains like BurgerFi, Carl’s Jr., Flanny’s, Miller’s Ale House, and Raising Cane’s all have a place in my heart, but I had to narrow it down. As for Publix, their tenders shine in a Pub Sub, but eaten solo? Pass. However, an honorable mention goes to Emmy Squared’s “Chicken Crunchers” in Coral Gables — good enough for a shoutout, not quite good enough for the final cut…