September is Library Card Sign-up Month, and the Menomonee Falls Public Library is upgrading its strategy from a “warm invitation” to a hilariously intense family and friend intervention.
We are calling on all current cardholders to take matters into their own hands. Specifically, you are being asked to identify the friends, family members, and neighbors in your life who do not currently possess a library card, and bring them to the circulation desk for immediate issuing of a very powerful library card.
Here is your quick guide to executing a successful (and entirely legal) literary intervention:
- The Targets: Look for people who complain about bestseller prices, lack a keychain barcode, or pay actual money for Wi-Fi.
- The Teenage Maneuver: Lure them with promises of fast food. Once they are in the car, remind them the library has free video games, manga, and high-speed Wi-Fi.
- The Spouse Interception: Grab their current photo identification and proof of address while they are relaxed on the couch, then guide them straight to the car.
- The Toddler Round-Up: Promise them a sticker and a visit to our indoor tree. They will be asking to go before you even finish the sentence!
- The Processing: Escort them directly to the desk and our staff will issue their powerful new library card.
The Targets—now patrons—will be released immediately back into the wild to explore their library with one of the most powerful cards you could ever have…