MURFREESBORO, TN – In an appalling crime that’s sure to shake the very foundations of retail, two daring masterminds—whom we’ll affectionately dub Suzy Cue and Jane Doe—attempted the boldest of all heists on April 28 at the Walmart on S. Rutherford Blvd. in Murfreesboro. Their target? Nine whole pieces of clothing, totaling a jaw-dropping $120.86. Added up, that’s less than designer jeans cost, but enough to warrant a full-blown investigation.
According to Murfreesboro Police, the criminal heist was halted in its tracks thanks to the eagle-eyed efforts of the legendary loss prevention guru at Wally World, who managed to detain the suspects before they could make their dramatic getaway. The plot? Barcode swapping—an age-old retail trick passed down through generations of budget-conscious schemers. Why pay $15 when you can pay $3 and still walk out feeling semi-legit? Nonetheless, price tag swapping is still unequivocally considered retail theft. One way to look at it: the thief is simply stealing 50 to 75% less than they would have if they hadn’t swapped the price tag.
Officer Smith was dispatched to the scene where he was introduced to the suspects in the Walmart loss prevention lair. Security footage apparently caught the women red-handed in their valiant attempt to cut costs without coupons. To add some aroma to the intrigue, Officer Smith reported smelling marijuana on the duo. A probable cause search was conducted, but alas, no weed was found—only the pungent scent of disappointment…