Monday, July 22, 2019
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Misunderstood Jobs

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Whatever your job is, if you’ve been doing it for awhile, you’ve probably heard it all. As soon as you say whatever it is, someone will comment on it like they know all about your life. Well, you don’t. Being a blogger contains multitudes, okay?

Designer Louie Mantia asked his followers what people most often misunderstood about their jobs, and there are a lot of people who are incredibly frustrated with the general public.

There are the overworked and underpaid college faculty:

Folks whose job it is to criticize popular culture—key word is job. They aren’t just complaining:

Journalists have been getting a really bad reputation the last few years, as we all know, and the truth is they’re mostly not all that elite:

Just because someone works for Netflix doesn’t mean they can control Netflix::

Reverends don’t have six days off a week, did you know?

Just because someone’s work involves a computer doesn’t mean the computer is doing the work:

Libraries are all stocked up on The Da Vinci Code, thanks:

Stop complaining about video games taking so long to come out (which I guess is something people who play video games do):

Just because it sounds awesome doesn’t mean it’s not a real gig, with work involved:

Studying religion and being religious may relate, but they’re not synonymous:

The Earth is what’s going to kill us, according to this scientist:

Don’t ask your friends who do graphic design to draw you:

This is honestly something I hope everyone knows:

But this I cannot accept:

If digging up old bones isn’t super cool, there’s no longer any point to blogging my way through archeology school.

Kids Made Greeting Cards For A Nursing Home And They Are Terrifying

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Kids are cute. They’re so cute we don’t even notice what little sociopaths they are most of the time. Part of good parenting is slowly teaching them not to try and destroy the world and everyone around them. We all need to learn what compassion is.

That’s why teachers or other adults in charge of these little monsters sometimes try and engage children with projects that convey this lesson—that other people have feelings, and we should occasionally consider them. 

Haha, nice try! The children can’t be controlled, as you can see in this viral tweet.

Twitter user @Get_A_Cloo shared pictures of some greeting cards made for a nursing home by students, writing, “Kelsey’s students were supposed to write cards to the nursing home and … THESE ARE SO BAD BUT FUNNY.”

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“Did you have a good life?” is exactly the question you want to get from a child when you’re a swinging sixty-five year old.

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Kids have a natural curiosity, but the way they ingest info and regurgitate it can be alarming. Yes, some people have issues with health and abilities, but c’mon:

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What did Kelsey tell these kids about the elderly, exactly?

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Whatever it is, they’re really, really worried about the people in this nursing home.

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They must think things are pretty bad in there:

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This hilarious reminder that you can’t trust children has been extremely popular, and everyone is picking their favorite absolutely terrible thing a kid wrote:

Others shared stories where they made a similar mistake with the youth:

Though sometimes they were the problem:

Be honest with yourself about the kind of messages you used to scrawl to grandma.

Though she probably love them anyway.

Paris Hilton Asked People To Tell Her Something She Doesn’t Know And Twitter Obliged

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Paris Hilton Asked People To Tell Her Something She Doesn’t Know And Twitter Obliged

The art of being famous simply for trying hard to become famous isn’t anything new.

And while the Kardashians have perfected the achievement of fame for basically nothing in our age, think back, if you will, to the early-2000s—the days of T-Mobile Sidekicks, Lil’ Jon, and bedazzled everything. Reminisce long enough and you might remember a certain Paris Hilton, socialite and daughter of the Hilton hotel tycoon.

The OG famous-for-being-famous girl. And by OG I literally mean OG, she basically provided a blueprint for Kim on how to climb the fame ladder.

Kim was once friends with Paris, and before she was the champion pioneer of thrusting her family into reality fame, she was organizing Hilton’s closet and stepping out of the way of photos so other people could snap pictures with the tall socialite.

Their careers had similar starts—both women shot to fame after their leaked sex tapes hit the market, but the Kardashians took the scandal and ran with it. And while the K’s family drama is pretty much the only celeb-gossip that continues to go strong year after year, Paris has comparatively stepped out of the reality TV limelight in order to pursue a diverse number of other business opportunities.

She also tweets thought-provoking questions like this:

Now, that could’ve been an innocent and appropriate caption for this part sassy/all glamorous photo she posted on Twitter. But people took her question to heart and truly went out of their way to tell Hilton something she probably didn’t know.

What started as a joke soon became a laundry list of obscure and interesting facts. Like, did you know that “Chef” is an incomplete title?

You might’ve forgotten this gem from geometry class.

Things took a turn for the scientifically dense really quickly, too. Fascinating, nonetheless.

I’m going to pretend like I know what this guy is talking about right now.

Now I WISH I picked up on this before, are you serious? One, three, five, seven, nine…my God…

I knew there was a reason I inherently loved sloths. Do they not poot because they’re that lazy? That’d be amazing.

Grammatical and linguistic rulings were also being served up.

More obvious jokes began rolling in, but they were true none the less.

Check out this bit of cosmic knowledge right here. White night sky, baby.

Oh, did you want a lesson in some obscure geography? You’ve come to the right place.

Some of the facts hit a bit closer to home, however. Like this photo of Jesse Heiman and Paris.

How great would it be if Paris has that photo printed somewhere on an office desk and Jesse assumed she forgot they ever took it?

This Woman Found Out Her Boyfriend Was Cheating From A Jimmy John’s Delivery Guy

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There are some employees who go above and beyond to help a customer, even when it’s outside of their job description. And when it happens in the food service industry, that kind of behavior stands out.

Food service employees are some of the lowest paid in the USA, which is why it’s almost always amazing when someone working at a fast food joint doesn’t look entirely miserable at their job.

When’s the last time you had a fast food worker pour your hot drink with as much enthusiasm as this?

While the instances of outstanding service are few and far between, there are still some people out in the world who won’t let a crummy-paying job in a mostly thankless industry get in the way of them doing the right thing.

Something that this woman, Kayla, discovered when she ordered a Jimmy John’s sandwich to be delivered to her boyfriend. It was so incredible, she just had to share her experience.

It all started out with a kind gesture: getting her significant other something to eat while he was getting his study grind on. They were in a long-distance relationship.

She let the employee know that her boyfriend would be the one signing for the sandwich, since she wouldn’t be there.

She sent him a text letting him know that the food was coming and that he should leave a tip, but he didn’t respond. Probably because he was already taking a small snooze.

This is when things start to get a bit weird.

She had no idea why Jimmy John’s would be calling it. She bought the sandwich. Boyfriend got the sandwich, transaction completed. No need for a follow-up call.

The driver wanted to reconfirm that the order was for her boyfriend, which she thought was weird because she had given them the rundown previously.

That’s when the bombshell dropped.

Obviously agitated, flustered, and all sorts of shocked, Kayla needed to make sure the delivery driver saw what he saw. And that the guy in question was in fact her boyfriend.

He was. And Kayla was officially single thanks to a Jimmy John’s delivery driver who wasn’t afraid to speak up and let her know about the behavior.

Kayla was grateful to the sandwich franchise, and made sure to “@” them in all of her tweets, thanking them for hiring an honest worker who went out of the way to let her know about her man’s infidelity.

People felt bad that Kayla had to find out that way, but were in love with the story.

It turned already huge Jimmy John’s fans into even bigger ones.

While others thought that the call from the delivery guy came from a personal place.

Real recognize real, indeed.

21 People Who Should Avoid Spelling Bees

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I used to love spelling growing up, because it was a relatively easy class. All I had to do was memorize how the words were spelled and boom, my classmates thought I was smart — or at least they did, up until the fifth grade. Then everyone around me suddenly became unimpressed with my ability to spell meteorologist.

Critical thinking and problem-solving skills were not really my forte, however. So I suffered in math and classes that required more effort than simple spelling. Plus, I wasn’t all that good of a speller aloud, I had to write down the word and look at it to see if it “made sense” to me. So whatever “talent” I cultivated for spelling words correctly on the spot waned by the time middle school rolled along, and most of my friends didn’t even really view it as a talent, but rather, a nerdish ability that was ultimately pointless. As one classmate told me after I proudly stated aardvark begins with two a’s, “Who the heck cares? We could just check a dictionary for the right spelling anyway. Besides, computers now will tell you when you’re wrong.”

And even though he’s technically right, and I do agree that one’s ability to spell correctly isn’t a reliable way to measure their intelligence, I think even he would shake his head at some of the hilarious errors these people made.

1. The All Of Garden is a comprehensive botanical experience.

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2. I knew a guy named Hal A. Peenyo. Solid dude.

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3. When picking a restaurant for a date, don’t just consider the quality of the food, also think about the umbeyonce.

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4. The man was hit so hard that he didn’t pull through; he ultimately died of beaties.

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5. The Sergeant Animal persuaded me to pet them and give them snacks – then drop down and give them 20 push-ups.

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6. C-Jah, a reggae artist, had to be rushed to the hospital from the violent shaking he experienced while recording his new album.

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7. Mister Meaner and his spouse, Missus Hippie have been happily married for 30 years despite their different personalities.

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8. Once the duck has taken a firm grasp of the avocado in its feathers, it can then prop the quack then moley for the nart chose. You’ll be saying scone app the beef in no time!

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9. Susan was so dedicated to her prospective new employer, she vowed to funish her references should she get the position, to show how far she was willing to go.

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10. The home had Florida Ceiling windows, despite being located in Massachusetts.

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11. He spoke, or “habla” Gated, an Elven language hidden for centuries, with the fellow Tolkien nerds he met on his semester abroad to Argentina.

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12. The Thesaurus bakery + Grammar cafe sell delicious synonym rolls and metaphor cookies for sale.

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13. In Philadelphia, the famous Italian cheese is referred to as “Parma Jawn.”

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14. The amphibious pitcher celebrated his no-hitter by slinking into a nearby pond and feeding on moss.

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15. Although France is considered the language of love, millennials are flocking to porch of geese as the new romance-tongue.

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16. Matt went to the grocery story thinking he’d be able to buy linguini, but his inability to speak the local dialect sent him home empty-handed.

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17. Sandwich lovers everywhere were befuddled by the Westboro Baptist church’s disdain for the classic LGBT.

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18. The “for meal or…?” option left hungry student volunteers wondering if they should choose their promised lunch or the mystery option as compensation.

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19. Anti-Lizard-Rights protesters were extremely unhappy with the supreme court’s ruling on married iguanas.

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20. The Cupertino-based tech giant just released its latest piece of consumer technology: the Apple Hole Stery. What could it be?

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21. ‘Lack Toast and Tall Of Rent’ is a story of an infant who refuses to drink milk from a bottle unless it’s been tidily arranged.

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This Kid’s Brutally Honest Response To A Homework Assignment Is Too Relatable

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Call it hipster-ism, call is selfishness, or call it extreme love, but there are some things we cherish and value so much that the knowledge of them becomes so precious that you want it all to yourself.

I remember loving a video game for Playstation so much when I was younger that when my friend at the time (who had an N64) talked about getting a PS and that game, I suddenly became very territorial and did everything in my power to talk him out of it.

It’s pretty weird when I look back at it now, but I really thought that there was no way he could appreciate the game as much as I did at the time. Plus, he had a bunch of other games he was good at and liked playing, let that game be my thing, you know?

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As it turns out though, I wasn’t the only greedy kid who wanted certain experiences all to themselves.

When twitter user @mum_reader decided to contribute her thoughts to the trending conversation for #NationalWritingDay, she shared this wonderful homework assignment from her son was he was six-years-old.

People loved how fervently the kid loves his favorite book.

People wanted to know what book captured his heart. I mean a piece of literature that could make a 6-year-old that passionate about reading must be special.

And it’s this bad boy right here. Just judging from the title, it looks pretty amazing.

When it comes to sassy assignment responses, students have been providing endless entertainment for the internet for a very long time.

Like this kid who doesn’t feel the need to explain themselves.

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Or Hope here who wants to name her rectangle Tedison.

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I mean the student’s technically correct. If you want someone to follow instructions you had in mind, then make sure you write them down as clearly as possible. It’s simple.

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He’s write, hitting defenseless animals sucks.

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Again, there’s nothing wrong with these answers.

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Who thought about the feelings of the first cells? Hmm? Now this student might’ve failed biology, but they passed empathy.

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Now I’d argue that the Situation’s torso has a much more exaggerated taper, but you definitely know what this student is going for.

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This assignment is opinion-based, so the answer can’t technically be wrong.

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Besides, this kid understands that without love, ruling the world isn’t a worthwhile endeavor. That’s why it’s number 3 on the list.

Woman ‘Baffled’ By Strange Treatment From Her Daily Ticket Guy Until She Discovered This

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Woman ‘Baffled’ By Strange Treatment From Her Daily Ticket Guy Until She Discovered This

Back when I used to live the commuting life, I was used to certain rituals of my morning journey into the city.

I took the same bus as a family member and would chat it up with him as we drove into Manhattan then branch off and take our respective subways. I’d see the same bus driver, same dude with oversized headphones I never made eye contact with. I’d pass the same coffee shop and wave to the same dude bringing bags of beans and cups and weird hipster-coffee-making paraphernalia. It was comforting.

It became such an ingrained part of my daily routine that any aberration was noticed immediately. If my relative wasn’t on the bus, I’d look for him. If headphone guy was sick or when he suddenly changed his headphones out of nowhere, I noticed. When my bus driver was replaced with someone else, I didn’t know how to feel about it but my initial reaction was, “NOOOOOOO!”

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But what if a face you were used to seeing on your daily routine didn’t always greet you the same way? Or maybe that person greeted you some days and seemed happy to see you, and other days, they completely ignored you?

It would be a bit baffling, would it not? Well that’s exactly what happened to Twitter user Rachel Harper, who after two long years of experiencing hot-and-cold interactions with her local ticket guy, realized this:

That’s right. Boom. Twins, out of nowhere. It was like she was living in The Prestige, or a bizarro kids novel where a team of plucky teams use their genetic advantage to get into all sorts of mischief and somehow save the day with the circumstances of their birth.

Her tweet became so popular, that filmmaker Edgar Wright (Babydriver, Shaun of the Dead) tweeted a quote from another one of his films, Hot Fuzz.

Turns out though that she wasn’t the only one who had a body-double twins experience.

While others shared their own stories of not recognizing someone. Not because they were actually a twin or anything.

But because they saw the person “out of context.”

It led to some very awkward situations. Like this one guy whose twin brother took a drawing class.

And he was accused of seeing someone naked.

Even when twins work at the same jobs and attempted to differentiate themselves from others, it doesn’t really work out for them.

Well at least he didn’t think someone came back from the dead.

This guy couldn’t believe a kid was making it down the slide so quickly.

Although someone has their own theories as to this whole “Twins Conspiracy.”

These Bizarre Old School Life Hacks From Print Magazines Are Pretty Darn Useless

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It seems that there’s a life hack for just about everything these days.

Some of them are pretty darn useful. Like putting your hanging clothes it trash bags and tying them like this when you’re moving.

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Or this amazing way to apply bandages that prevent the strip from slipping off while you go about your life.

But not all life hacks are created equal, and some are ultimately kind of pointless. Like whoever told you to use a can opener to cut through plastic clam-shell packaging fails to realize that a knife would work just as well.

Then there are some life hacks that are downright silly and/or useless. Like this assortment of curated weirdness that Jess McGuire posted to Twitter.

These “hacks” feature zingers like destroying your jump ropes.

And using a piece of string to replace your belt.

Writers from these magazines tend to have an obsession with using feminine hygiene products for tasks other than the one they’re intended to perform.

Or giving yourself that coveted Kardashian-post-op look.

Have a bloody nose or are throwing a Halloween party? Hope you have some tampons handy! (The bloody nose thing is actually useful; the ghost trick is not.)

Hate door-to-door solicitors? Turns out they hate silly hats combined with death stares!

If you can’t afford to buy a bag of after-dinner mints, then you probably shouldn’t be hoodwinking your guests into eating toothpaste anyway.

This “budget GPS” system is…I just don’t know what to say about it.

Tin foil has plenty of uses you would have never thought of. Like protecting your kicks from poop.

If you’re having a cup of tea, you’re obviously also enjoying a piece of pie, so use its pan as a coaster. Duh.

Hands cold while drinking a cup of tea? Don’t put your hand on your cup like some normie, take your used teabag and throw it into a plastic bag.

Speaking of tea, don’t you hate it when you beverage gets cold? Well fret not!

Think cereal boxes go in the trash? Think again!

Cereal cocktail! Mmmm, my favorite. Nothing says delicious breakfast like a bit of Trix mixed with Honey Bunches of Oats and some stale cocoa puff remnants.

You can keep these life hacks to yourself, I’ll take the conventional route for now. Thanks.

Someone Is Drawing People's Twitter Avis And The Results Are Hilarious

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Statistically, your social media avatar is probably a flattering pic of you, or a goofy cartoon character. But why not both? Twitter user @aansontm made an offer the Internet couldn’t refuse: RT and follow and you get your own hand-drawn avi.

What they didn’t say was that they would draw you well, accurately, or even kindly. Some of these drawings are so freaking rude, people couldn’t believe it. And the rest of us are laughing.

No matter how unflattering, some people will always be unfailingly polite about other’s artistic efforts:

No matter how terrifying their illustrated avi is, they accept it with gratitude:

Just kidding. Apparently, a lot more dudes than women are pretty vain:

Like, it’s true that this drawing looks like Sideshow Bob, but it’s also true that my man just got a hand-drawn avi for free, so take it with a thank you!

The men are mad, but if your face looks like a bicycle seat, what else can the artist do but portray what they see?

At a certain point, the drawings became so insulting that people couldn’t help laughing at themselves:

Insult people until they come around:

Eventually, they’ll reach a place of total acceptance. This is what they look like, what they have always looked like.

A beautiful acorn-headed elf of the woods:

But the greatest honor of all was bestowed on Twitter user @AlmightyJoeyy, who was transformed into the Internet’s greatest hero: Arthur the aardvark.

An avatar to treasure forever, because it’s the same as John Legend’s.

Blake Lively Is Officially The Queen Of Instagram Captions

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But she’s not only hilarious in a battle of roasts and wits, people.

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If you’ve ever taken the time to just simply read the captions for her Instagram posts, outside of her jocular-comment-feuds, you’d be rewarded with beauty like this.

Now you might’ve thought she was funny before, but 2018’s definitely been her year when it comes to bar-none, funny-as-heck captions.

Like when she was feeling herself, but her daughter was baffled by her choice in clothing.

When she made you feel bad about your crumby commute to work.

There was this wonderfully dirty joke she made at the Deadpool 2 premiere.

When she poked fun at her fashion choices with this school-days throwback.

When she got Anna Kendrick involved in roasting her hubby, Ryan Reynolds.

When she got real about why she’s not hugging you in a photo: her dress matters more.

When she gave in to the fact that she became a basic Instagrammer and sacrificed her wonderful coffee for the perfect photo op.

When she admitted to being out of J. Lo’s league when it came to nailing her trademark “eye look.”

When she was totally not lying about being makeup free.

There was this adorable selfie she uploaded with her mom.

When she basically proved that she second-guesses everything and gets all overly-analytical as much as the next person.

She isn’t afraid to admit when she fangirled hard.

When humble-bragged about her hair braiding skills.

When she shamelessly rocked this jumpsuit straight outta the early 2000s.

When she didn’t care about not being subtle.

And she’s unapologetic about her pastry decorating skills.

And finally, when she dished out on why she really got in the movie-making business.

Best. Instagram. Captions. Ever.

These Unintentionally Confusing Signs Are Basically Riddles

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They say that good design is invisible. You probably don’t think twice when opening most doors, but if you’ve ever pushed when you should have pulled, you have careless design to thank. Likewise, you probably see dozens of unremarkable signs a day – signs that tell you where to go, where not to go, where to go to the bathroom, you get the picture – but once in a while, you might come across one that makes you do a double take.

Whether it’s regrettable word placement, poor font choice, or ambiguous grammar, these signs hilariously fail to communicate.

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This sign that appears to have an entirely different meaning when read from afar.

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This clock store’s attempt to get clever with it’s signage.

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This cryptic welcome message that makes no sense even after descrambling.

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This knickknack that wishes misery upon you.

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Okay this a shirt and technically not a sign, but boy is it sending a mixed message.

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This speed limit sign that seems more concerned with overpopulation.

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This 2nd birthday cake topper that becomes not-so-child-friendly from certain angles.

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This campus bulletin that clarifies absolutely nothing.

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This window lettering that’s clearly trying to waste your time by making you look for an acronym.

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This sign which offers sound advice but probably could have used a change of font.

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This unwittingly unappetizing restaurant ad.

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This sign meant to direct traffic that really just made things much worse.

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PSA: crosses look like Ts.

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This one might actually be a freudian slip.

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They might be “great hiring people,” but they’re not so great at designing flyers.

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I should not have to turn my head into landscape mode just to read an “inspirational” quote.

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Speaking of “unnecessary” quotation marks, they can really change the whole connotation of a sentence.

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I mean, seems legit?

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Sometimes misused punctation works in your favor though – I’m going to assume this sign is aggressively asserting that dogs are, in fact, allowed. Yay!

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At least they got “we’re” and “you’re” correct.

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Well, technically they didn’t claim THEY know how to design.

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There’s a lot going on here and none of it works.

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Finally, if you can figure out what this is actually meant to say you are a certifiable genius.

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Thank you, bad signage. You may have failed at your core purpose but you more than make up for it in entertainment value.

Walmart Just Pulled A Wendy’s Twitter Move After A Customer ‘Admitted’ To Stealing

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Walmart Just Pulled A Wendy’s Twitter Move After A Customer ‘Admitted’ To Stealing

When you think of shopping at Walmart you probably think of long lines, broken down self-service cash registers, greeters whose eyes are constantly checking the clock.

You might also think of customers who try to use snuggies as clothing as they shop for Dr. Thunder and off-brand Oreos.

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You’re not going to Walmart by choice, you’re just going there because it’s open and probably the cheapest option in your area. You’re not expecting Walmart to be forward thinking, or necessarily warm or inviting inside. You go in, you spend your bottom dollar, you wait online, and then you get the heck out of there as soon as possible.

It’s a no-nonsense store, and a no-nonsense store isn’t expected to have a great social media account game, either. Just run-of-the-mill customer service query handling and announcements.

Well, one Twitter user, @Murk361, thought he could take advantage of Walmart’s apparent “lameness” when it came to the world of social media marketing.

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It all began when Murk sent out this innocent tweet.

Walmart’s social media team took the bait, probably hoping to have a nice exchange with one of their valued customers.

Murk had Walmart right where he wanted them and decided to let the joke go.

Normally it would’ve just ended there. I mean what kind of response could Walmart have? “Oh no we hope you’re joking, Murk!” They couldn’t take it too seriously because then they would look really lame.

They had to pick their response and how they’d reply very carefully. Surprisingly, they decided to go the route of absolute savagery.

That’s right, they went there.

And people just couldn’t believe it.

I mean, Walmart, of all retailers? Really?

They even started drawing comparisons to the undisputed queen of social media.

People even started asking Wendy’s to chime in on Walmart’s response.

They’ve yet to respond, but that hasn’t stopped people from rolling on the floor with laughter.

People just still can’t believe Twitter is free.

I really want to know what Wendy’s has to say about this now.