Oregon is a magical land of mossy forests, endless rain, and deeply personal coffee preferences. It’s where people go to escape the mainstream, only to form their own flannel-wearing, Subaru-driving, IPA-brewing culture. If you’ve ever had to explain that yes, it does rain all the time and no, Portland isn’t all of Oregon, you’re probably one of us.
Table of Contents
1. “It’s pronounced OR-uh-gun, not OR-eh-GONE.”
Mispronounce it and we will silently judge you over our ethically sourced espresso.
2. “That mountain’s out today.”
Translation: The clouds cleared for once and you can actually
Mt. Hood. It’s a big deal.
3. “We don’t pump our own gas.”
And we’re proud of it. Let the pros do it while we stay warm in our hoodies.
4. “Portland weird or Eugene weird?”
There’s a spectrum. Portland weird is tattoos and unicycles. Eugene weird smells like patchouli and compost.
5. “I forage my own mushrooms.”
And we mean that literally. Just don’t mix up chanterelles with the ones that make you see the forest breathe.
6. “You can’t trust the weather report.”
Pack a rain jacket, sunscreen, snow chains, and a swimsuit. For the same day.
7. “I only drink local beer.”
Which still gives you 500 options. And yes, we do judge based on IBU.
8. “We’re going to the coast.”
Not the beach—the coast. And you’ll be wearing a parka and eating chowder in the wind.
9. “You goin’ to Saturday Market?”
Prepare to witness fire dancers, lavender soap vendors, and someone selling handmade spoons for $45.
10. “This traffic is bad, but at least it’s not Seattle.”
That’s the only thing that gets us through I-5 at 4 p.m.
11. “You gotta try my friend’s kombucha.”
You don’t have to. But you probably will. And you’ll pretend to like it.
12. “We recycle everything.”
And if you don’t, someone with a nose ring and a clipboard will let you know…