“BANNED: Cookout Announces Ban on Highschoolers After Incident”

THIS IS A WORK OF SATIRE.

This Wednesday, both Cook Out restaurants on New Bern Ave have announced a ban on high school students entering their premises, effective immediately, after an incident involving Enloe students.

“Man, y’all are why we can’t have nice things,” complained Kathryn Palmer, a ninth grader. “Where else am I supposed to go during lunch?”…

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