WEST VALLEY, UT — What began as a routine Tuesday morning for 42-year-old Keith Dunbar took a sharp turn into the paranormal when he glanced out his kitchen window and noticed what he described as “a series of strange, possibly extraterrestrial crop markings” on his suburban lawn.
“I knew immediately it wasn’t natural,” said Dunbar, still visibly shaken, clutching a half-eaten toaster waffle. “The curves weren’t something earth grass would do. I thought — this is it! They finally came. And they picked me.”
The patterns, described by Dunbar as “gently swirling semi-arcs of alien communication,” were later revealed to be dry patches of grass. Nevertheless, within hours, local news trucks had screeched onto the street, a Facebook group titled Alien Turf Tracks – Utah Chapter, with its 842 members was notified, and a man from Tooele was already setting up camp on the sidewalk with a telescope, a folding chair, and a cooler labeled “Night Watch.”…