On the December day that I finally got my hands on a Dang Burger – attracted to the steady buzzing about this Carpinteria crave from social feeds and real people alike, it was my second attempt – I actually ordered two of them: the original, straight-up “Single Dang,” which was required, we can all agree, for evaluating the restaurant’s basic formula of smashed ground beef with yellow American cheese and fixings; and the “Hot Dang,” a special (since elevated to the permanent menu) featuring two patties, white American cheese, and spicy peppers. With fries, of course.