This satire article is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken seriously.
Hilton Head Island, South Carolina – In a surprising move by local authorities, Hilton Head Island has just passed an ordinance that will shake the foundations of beach leisure as we know it. Starting next month, all beachgoers over the age of six will be required to obtain a license for sandcastle building.
The new law, dubbed the ‘Sandcastle Statute’, aims to “raise the standard of beachfront aesthetics and ensure structural integrity in all sandy constructions,” according to the island’s mayor. The ordinance requires a half-day training course, covering topics such as moat engineering, turret stability, and decorative shell placement.
Local lifeguards will be responsible for enforcing the new law, equipped with rulers to measure the battlements and moats for compliance. Fines for unlicensed sandcastles will start at $50, with repeat offenders facing potential beach bans.
The community’s reaction has been mixed. Some parents are excited about the educational aspect, while others see it as an unnecessary interference in beach fun. “I thought they were joking,” said one local surfer. “Next thing, they’ll be requiring fishing licenses for building sand sharks.”