In what might be the worst case of “tell on yourself” since people started posting their crimes on TikTok, a Chevy Corvette driver in Tempe, Arizona, has given us all a masterclass in what not to do when you own a 495-horsepower mid-engine sports car.
Let’s set the scene: Our protagonist — and we use that term loosely… anti-hero? — decided to record himself blasting across the Mill Avenue Bridge at over 140 mph. Because if you’re going to commit a traffic violation, why not create a high-definition video confession while you’re at it? The footage, apparently captured on the Corvette’s own Performance Data Recorder (a feature Chevy definitely didn’t intend for self-incrimination purposes), was presumably posted somewhere online. Pro tip: the “record” button is not the same as the “get away with it” button.
According to the Tempe Police Department, this wasn’t this particular Corvette’s debut performance. The car had been reported multiple times for reckless driving and excessive noise (including by a neighbor in the video’s comments) — which, let’s be honest, is kind of the whole point of owning a C8 Corvette with its glorious naturally-aspirated V8. But there’s a time and a place, folks, and “wherever and whenever you feel like it” isn’t the answer.
The Chase: A Study in Poor Decision-Making
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