Sign of the Times
Ohio state Rep. Thaddeus Claggett, of Licking County, introduced a bill in the state house in late September that would declare AI systems “nonsentient entities” and ban them from gaining legal personhood. WCMH-TV reported that the bill seeks to prohibit people (or other AI systems) from marrying AI. Claggett said the legislation would prevent AI from holding power of attorney or making decisions on another’s behalf. He said Ohio is “attempting to put some guardrails in place so that we always have a human in charge of the technology, not the other way around.”
Least Competent Criminal
Dude, don’t confess your crimes to ChatGPT. In Springfield, Missouri, 19-year-old Ryan Schaefer went on a crime spree on Sept. 28 in a Missouri State University parking lot, The Smoking Gun reported. The college sophomore allegedly shattered car windows, ripped off side mirrors, dented hoods and broke windshield wipers. When Springfield police officers visited him at his apartment the next day, Schaefer admitted that the person on surveillance video did bear a “resemblance” to him and turned his phone over as evidence. Investigators found a conversation between Schaefer and ChatGPT, which included questions such as “what if I smashed the … outta multiple cars” and “is there any way they could know it was me.” Schaefer went on to make vague threatening statements to the AI tool; he was charged with felony property damage.
Hair Today, Gone
If you haven’t made it to Leila’s Hair Museum in Independence, Missouri, time is running out. Huff Post reported on Oct. 9 that the 30-year-old museum is re-homing its displays after the death of founder Leila Cohoon last December at 92. Museums including the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the National Museum of Funeral History are collecting items from Ozzy Osbourne, Marilyn Monroe and, reportedly, Jesus. Cohoon’s granddaughter, Lindsay Evans, said the process of finding new homes for the collection is helping her grieve: “Every time I come here, I feel her here.” Cohoon concentrated on finding items from the 19th and 20th centuries, when people kept hair of the dead in jewelry or coiled it into wreaths. She worked with antique dealers all across the country to locate the pieces. “If it had hair, she got it,” said Evans. “When this is empty, it’ll break my heart a little bit.”
News You Can Use
The El Cortez Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas has a sure bet for you: Casino.org is offering $5,000 to one person to spend a full weekend in the hotel, trying to scare up ghosts. The New York Post reported that the 84-year-old hotel, located on the “old strip,” reportedly has in the basement the cremated remains of former employees who died without family, among other creepy features. The lucky winner will be furnished with “ghost-hunting gear” including EMF meters, EVP recorders and thermal sensors, and the ghost hunter will be expected to take photos and videos for evidence.
Awesome!
On Sept. 25, when an 86-year-old Oskaloosa, Florida, woman took her granddog for a walk, she didn’t return after 10 to 15 minutes, as she generally does, her husband said. He called 911 and reported her missing, ABC News reported, and a sheriff’s deputy set out to look for her. Deputy Devon Miller soon came upon Eeyore the dog, standing in the middle of the road. The dog “practically dragged” Miller to where the woman had fallen, and help was summoned. Recovering from her hospital bed, the woman was amazed that Eeyore had saved the day. “You’re such a good boy. Grandma loves you,” she said.
Don’t Eat That!
— An elderly woman named Zhang in Hangzhou, China, heard a rumor that swallowing live frogs could alleviate back pain, Oddity Central reported on Oct. 8. She asked relatives to capture some frogs for her (without explaining why) and consumed five in one day, and three the next. When her stomach pain became unbearable, her family rushed her to the hospital, and doctors determined that “Swallowing live frogs damaged the patient’s digestive system and allowed parasites to enter her system,” one physician announced. She was suffering from a Sparganum tapeworm. Zhang recovered and was discharged after two weeks.
— Nathan Rimington, 33, a truck driver from Yorkshire, England, got a craving for gummy candies and went all in, ordering a 6.6-pound bag of Haribo cola bottle sweets, the Manchester Evening News reported on Oct. 1. Then Rimington went all in on eating them, finishing off the bag in three evenings — all 10,461 calories. A couple of days later, terrible stomach cramps sent him to the hospital, where he was diagnosed with diverticulitis caused by the gelatin in the candies. After six days of IV fluids, he went home and hasn’t touched a gummy since. “It was my own stupid fault, I’ve not eaten a cola bottle since,” he said.
Repeat Offender
A business in Greenmount, Maryland, has been victimized three times by the same burglar, the owner, Tia Hamilton, believes. According to WMAR2-TV, Hamilton’s store, DiGi Business Center, was broken into on Feb. 6, Sept. 30 and Oct. 2. “I noticed my register is gone; it’s the same MO, he’s not destroying anything,” she said. “There are bars on the window, so you have to be super skinny to fit through those bars.” Baltimore police are investigating, but the perp wears gloves and a face covering during the intrusions. “It’s a violation to me when you steal,” Hamilton said.
The Aristocrats
As if the idea of toddlers driving motor vehicles wasn’t breathtaking enough, now you can purchase a luxury car for your wee one, Oddity Central reported on Oct. 1. For the low, low price of $49,000, your tot can proudly sport around in a Russian-made scaled-down Mercedes-Benz SL300 with a top speed of 28 mph. The model, popular in the 1950s and ’60s, features adjustable leather seats, functional lights and a subwoofer, for the kids’ refined listening tastes. Happy motoring!
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Bright Idea
Stephan Marcum of Stanton, Kentucky, is in hot water for his choice of Halloween decorations, LEX18-TV reported. Police were called to Marcum’s residence on Oct. 4, where they found five “bodies” in trash bags with labels on them. The labels were “district judge,” “mayor,” “SIS,” “C.A.” and “zoning mgr.” Marcum has reportedly had an ongoing dispute with the city over failing to hook up legal water, sewer and electrical services. The threatening decorations were erected sometime after a Sept. 30 court hearing about those violations. Marcum was charged with intimidating a witness in the legal process and third-degree terroristic threatening.
What’s in a Name?
Avon and Somerset Police in England are hunting for Morgan Freeman, the Somerset County Gazette reported on Oct. 8 — no, not THAT Morgan Freeman. This fugitive is 27 years old, white, 5-feet-4 and has light brown hair. “He is wanted on recall to prison after failing to comply with license conditions,” police said. Maybe he’s on the beach with Andy Dufresne.
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