Disclaimer: This satire article is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken seriously.
In a groundbreaking move that has coffee lovers buzzing, the Alaskan legislature has passed a new law that entitles every resident to free coffee during the frigid winter months. The “Caffeine for Cold” Act, as it’s affectionately known, aims to combat the harsh Alaskan winters with a warm cup of joe.
Under this new law, every Alaskan citizen is entitled to one free coffee per day from November through February, the state’s coldest months. Participating coffee shops are to be reimbursed by the state, a move that has seen overwhelming support from local businesses.
Governor Frosty Brewski, known for his love of a good espresso, hailed the act as “a victory for warmth and alertness.” In a press statement, he joked, “In Alaska, we measure our coffee like we measure our snow – in feet, not inches.”
Critics of the bill have raised concerns about the cost implications and potential caffeine addiction, but these were quickly overshadowed by the public’s enthusiasm. “What’s next? Free blankets and beanie hats?” asked one skeptical lawmaker, who later admitted to looking forward to his daily cappuccino.