Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire and is not intended to be taken as factual news.
In a move that has left both residents and wildlife experts baffled, the state of Florida has reportedly appointed a local man, known only as “Florida Man,” to the prestigious position of Chief Wildlife Officer. This decision comes as part of the state’s unconventional new approach to wildlife management, particularly concerning its alligator population.
According to sources close to the matter, Florida Man, who has gained notoriety for his bizarre antics involving local fauna, plans to implement a series of “Alligator Etiquette Classes.” These classes are intended to teach alligators proper manners, such as refraining from uninvited swimming pool visits and avoiding unwarranted appearances on golf courses.
While some critics have labeled the move as “absurd” and “a blatant disregard for conventional wildlife management practices,” supporters of the decision argue that it’s a quintessentially Floridian solution to a Floridian problem. “Who better to understand the mind of an alligator than Florida Man himself?” argued one enthusiastic supporter, who preferred to remain anonymous.