Disclaimer: This is a satirical article and is not meant to be taken as factual news.
In an unprecedented move that has baffled economists and delighted mindfulness coaches, Florida has passed a law mandating a one-hour cool-off period at all Automated Teller Machines (ATMs) across the state. The “Patience is a Virtue Act,” as it’s officially known, is said to be a groundbreaking initiative to promote financial responsibility and Zen-like calm among its residents.
Under this new law, anyone attempting to withdraw cash will now have to endure a sixty-minute waiting period, filled with soothing elevator music and intermittent messages like “Think about that purchase. Do you really need another flamingo lawn ornament?” and “Remember, a penny saved is a penny earned!”
Local reactions have been mixed. Miami resident, Sandy Beaches, commented, “At first, I thought my ATM was broken. But then I realized it’s just Florida being Florida. I used the hour to learn origami with my withdrawal slip.”
The government has defended its decision, stating that this will not only reduce impulsive spending but also increase the state’s overall mindfulness quotient. A spokesperson for the initiative, April Day, noted, “In a world of instant gratification, we’re teaching Floridians the lost art of waiting. Plus, our surveys show a significant decrease in buyer’s remorse and an increase in ATM-based friendships.”