Disclaimer: The following article is a work of satire and is not intended to be taken as factual news.
In a bold move that has left soda enthusiasts fizzing with outrage, the North Carolina state legislature has reportedly proposed a law to ban the sale and consumption of Mountain Dew. This radical proposal, which seems to bubble with controversy, claims to target “the extreme health risks” associated with the popular citrus-flavored beverage.
The bill, dubbed “The Dew-Be-Gone Act,” outlines a comprehensive plan to phase out Mountain Dew from grocery shelves, vending machines, and even backyard barbecues across the Tar Heel State. According to one state senator, the decision was based on “a thorough and totally scientific study” conducted by a group of lawmakers after watching a YouTube video about the soda’s high sugar content.
The proposed law has sparked a wave of reactions. Local dentist associations have reportedly expressed overwhelming support, citing a potential decrease in cavities and “Mountain Dew Mouth,” a term used to describe severe dental decay attributed to excessive consumption of the drink. Meanwhile, extreme sports enthusiasts, a key demographic of Mountain Dew’s marketing campaigns, are planning a state-wide skateboarding protest.