Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire and is not based on real events.
In a groundbreaking move that has tails wagging and neighbors sighing in relief, the North Carolina State Legislature has passed a new law that requires all dogs within state lines to obtain a special barking permit. The unprecedented legislation, titled “Hush Puppies Act,” aims to bring order and civility to neighborhoods overrun by canine cacophony.
Under the new law, dog owners must apply for a barking permit, which includes a rigorous assessment of their dog’s vocal talents. “We’re not trying to muzzle man’s best friend,” explained the bill’s sponsor, Senator Woof Barkley. “We just want to ensure that every bark is necessary, meaningful, and contributes positively to the auditory environment of our great state.”
The legislation has received mixed responses. Local dog Whisperer, Cesar Milanovich, hailed the law as a “barking breakthrough,” while the American Canine Liberties Union (ACLU) condemned it as “an egregious infringement on the freedom of speech of our four-legged citizens.”