Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire and is not intended to be taken as factual news.
In an unprecedented move to tackle modern transportation woes, Oregon has announced its latest initiative: reinstating the historic Oregon Trail as the state’s official commuting route. This decision, steeped in both nostalgia and practicality, aims to resolve contemporary traffic issues while paying homage to Oregon’s pioneering spirit.
According to state officials, the traditional highway system will be phased out, making way for a network of trails reminiscent of the 19th-century wagon routes. Commuters are encouraged to swap their cars for covered wagons, complete with wooden wheels and canvas tops. The state government, in a bid to fully embrace this throwback, has declared that pioneer attire – including coonskin caps and bonnets – is now mandatory for all travelers.
“The modern-day commute lacks the adventure and camaraderie of the old Oregon Trail,” explained the state’s Transportation Secretary. “We’re bringing back the spirit of the pioneers, one wagon at a time. Plus, it’s eco-friendly!”