Satire – South Carolina’s New Traffic Law: Thrice and You’re Out!

In an unprecedented move, South Carolina has reportedly passed a new traffic law that is sending shockwaves across the state. Dubbed the “Thrice and You’re Out” rule, this new legislation states that any driver involved in more than three accidents, regardless of severity, will be permanently banned from driving within the state.

The bill, passed in a whirlwind session of the state legislature, was reportedly inspired by a local lawmaker’s personal experience. “I was involved in my fourth fender bender this month,” said the anonymous lawmaker, “and I thought, ‘Enough is enough!’ If I can’t drive safely, who can?”

Critics of the law argue that it’s too harsh and fails to consider the nuances of each accident. Supporters, however, believe it’s a step in the right direction for road safety. “It’s simple,” says one supporter, “three strikes and you’re not just out, you’re walking!”

Local driving schools have seen a sudden surge in enrollments, as South Carolinians scramble to brush up on their driving skills. “It’s like a driver’s ed renaissance,” said one driving instructor, “People are actually practicing how to parallel park again!”

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