Disclaimer: The following article is a work of satire and is not intended to be taken as factual news.
In a bold move to boost local employment and celebrate the state’s cherished tradition of leisurely porch sitting, South Carolina has just passed a revolutionary new law: the Professional Porch Sitter Licensing Act. Under this new legislation, residents can now apply for official licenses to become certified Professional Porch Sitters, turning their love for relaxation and neighborhood gossip into a legitimate profession.
The law, which has caused both amusement and bemusement among locals, aims to professionalize the art of porch sitting, a pastime deeply rooted in Southern culture. Applicants will undergo rigorous training, including courses in rocking chair techniques, iced tea preparation, and advanced small talk. The most crucial part of the examination, however, will be a practical test where candidates must demonstrate their ability to sit, rock, and sip tea with an air of serene contentment for hours on end.