A while back, a video crossed my social media feed showing a small girl clandestinely scooping a bite out of a six-layer wedding cake. It struck me as a charming example of the way serendipity and chaos sometimes coexist, and how often kids facilitate that chaos.
But when I scrolled through the comments, I was surprised to see that many people did not find the episode charming. In fact, a multitude cited the cake-defiling moment as evidence that children shouldn’t be allowed at weddings at all.
“This is exactly why more people are going with child-free weddings,” one person wrote, summing up a popular opinion among the video’s viewers. “Getting married in June and there will be no kids! NONE,” wrote another.
It’s hard to know if, as the comments suggest, child-free weddings are becoming more popular. I couldn’t find any real data on the trend over time. But a deluge of social media posts and news coverage on the topic certainly give the impression that the practice is gaining steam. Which is a tragedy, because marriage ceremonies are not just photo shoots and adult celebrations. They are rituals that represent the creation of new families and the joining of disparate tribes. Perhaps most critically, they help younger generations understand a family’s values. Excluding children robs them of a primer on a critical rite of passage, while sending the message to everyone else that children are not important members of a community.