High school used to be about rectangular pizza and jamming a mechanical pencil into your forearm like you were administering the Polio vaccine. Kids said things like “So is your old man!” and “Call me collect when you need a ride home except instead of saying your name at the beep, just say ‘come pick me up’ at the beep and then I’ll deny the collect call and won’t have to pay, but I’ll know to come and pick you up.”