Olympia, WA – In a move that has shocked some and soaked others, Washington State has officially added rain to its list of state symbols, right alongside the apple and the orca. The new legislation, passed unanimously by the state legislature, not only recognizes rain as a cultural heritage but also introduces a statewide ban on umbrellas.
“We’re proud of our drizzly climate,” stated Governor Dewey Dampson during the bill signing ceremony, held fittingly under a steady downpour. “Banning umbrellas isn’t just about getting wet; it’s about unity, identity, and learning to dance in the rain, both metaphorically and literally.”
The ban has stirred a mix of reactions among Washingtonians. Seattle resident, Raina Showers, shared, “I’ve never felt more in touch with my community. Yesterday, my neighbor and I shared a laugh as our groceries got soaked. It’s like we’re all in this together.”
However, not everyone is on board with the new law. Umbrella salesman, Gus Dryer, lamented, “This is a disaster for business. I’m considering pivoting to selling raincoats, but it’s just not the same.”