Disclaimer: The following article is a work of satire and is not intended to be taken as factual news.
In a move that has left coffee aficionados steaming, Washington State has just passed a groundbreaking law limiting residents to a maximum of three cups of coffee per day. The controversial law, which was brewed up in the state legislature, aims to reduce caffeine consumption among the public, citing health concerns and the need to promote a more ‘zen’ lifestyle.
The law, officially known as the “Caffeine Consumption Control Act,” was passed after a heated debate. Critics argue that it’s an overreach of government power, especially in a state renowned for its coffee culture. “It’s un-American,” said one local barista, as he crafted a latte art protest symbol. “Next, they’ll be telling us how many breaths we can take in a day!”
Enforcement of this law will be managed by the newly formed Coffee Control Board, equipped with caffeine sensors and coffee cup counters. Repeat offenders face penalties ranging from mandatory decaf consumption to coffee rehabilitation programs.