The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued as actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.
In a groundbreaking study, American University’s young scientists have discovered that students at the Kogod School of Business have almost the exact same genetic makeup as homo sapiens. Shocking even those in the field, researchers have been working furiously since this revelation to determine its implications.
“I was in disbelief when I was reviewing the results, but sure enough, their DNA is almost identical,” said study lead Amir Brooks. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think they were human!”…