A few days ago, I posted a short video sharing a message I believe deeply: our disagreements do not have to turn into wars. The reaction was immediate, passionate and fiercely critical. The comments hit on the absolute hardest question in this work.
Several people asked, in effect: How can you talk about civility when the issue is the survival of my transgender child, the arrest and deportation of human beings or basic constitutional rights? To many, asking for civility in the face of existential threats feels privileged, naive or like an invitation to surrender.
Let me be entirely clear about what civility is not. Civility is not about meeting in the middle. I have never advocated for splitting the difference on your core convictions, watering down your principles or asking anyone to quietly accept injustice with a polite smile. Compromise on fundamental human dignity is not the goal. If that is what civility meant, I would reject it, too…