I’ve only known one true Florida Man in my life. He was a young Florida Man. He was as Florida Man as it gets, aside from the fact that I met him in Los Angeles. It was about 10 years ago when I moved into a LA hostel. The first person I met who was also living there was this 18-year old kid who had just ran away from his parents home in Florida. He had a job as a sign spinner. He was one of these guys.
He could do all the tricks too. It was honestly pretty impressive.
He was also missing a small chunk of his brain from a dirt bike accident. He one tried to tell us he drank beers for medicinal purposes. He once sent me a video of him chugging a Budweiser in a hospital bed. Still not sure how he that 30-rack in there. He was a surprisingly good freestyle rapper. He could just start going and rhyme seamlessly for like 5 straight minutes. One of the hardest laughs I’ve had in my life was when I was sitting in the hostel living room during a heavy rain storm, and this Florida Kid came bursting in the front door. Soaking wet head-to-toe. And he exclaims to all of us, “Holy fucking shit guys it’s a fucking Holocaust out there.”
He had confused the words “Holocaust” and “hurricane”…