Additional Coverage:
- My son just bought a $70,000 truck he didn’t need — should I mind my own business until he’s drowning in debt? (newsbreak.com)
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For Love & Money, a Business Insider column, deals with your relationship and finance queries. This week, we discuss a situation involving a reader’s son who overspent on a new pickup truck, buying it for $70,000 despite his parents’ advice.
Our advice: sometimes, tough as it is, you need to let adults make their own decisions. Have a question?
Submit it via this Google form.
Dear For Love & Money,
My son, who recently graduated and started his own family, ignores the financial prudence his siblings embraced. Despite not having high salaries, he and his wife splurge constantly on luxuries like trips and concerts.
The latest concern is a $70,000 pickup, bought despite our offer of a perfectly good, much cheaper Toyota Camry. We worry about his financial decisions but hesitate to criticize directly for fear of seeming harsh.
How can we caution them about their spending without overstepping? Despite being an adult, it pains me to see him potentially heading towards financial ruin.
Sincerely,
Once a Worried Mom, Always a Worried Mom
Dear Worried,
As a parent, I understand wanting the best for your children—my own daughter aspires to Harvard, and we’ve invested immense effort in that direction. However, her path could change, reflecting personal choices beyond my control. This painful but fundamental truth about parenthood—our children are independent souls, capable of making even costly mistakes—is crucial to accept.
Your son, already quite committed with his $70,000 truck, will make his financial decisions whether or not they lead to debt. You can share wise counsel subtly through stories or indirectly touching upon your own financial principles without pointing directly to his spending.
Remember, your teachings on financial responsibility are not lost; each child absorbs and applies these lessons differently. Possibly, your son’s financial situation is better than you presume. Alternatively, if he is truly straying towards financial difficulty, as painful as it may be, your role might shift to support if and when he fails.
Rooting for you,
For Love & Money
If you’re confronting a financial dilemma affecting your relationships, send us your question using this Google form.
Originally published in December 2023.
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